Finding Gilbert Blythe

To and From Gilbert Blythe

December-February 2012/13

Email from: benjaminb

Email to: ridsdenvers

Subject: Birthday Wishes 

Received on: 05/12/12 at 15:29 PM

Happy birthday, carrots. Nineteen years of age today. My, my, young lady, how time flies.

It seems like only yesterday you were four years old and beating me to a bloody pulp with that huge book of yours. How's Uni going for you? Made any friends yet or are you missing the privilege of being in my company? ;)

P.S. That book really hurt, you know. You could've severely damaged my good looks.

Ben 

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Email from: ridsdenvers

Email to: benjaminb

RE: Inaccuracies 

Sent on: 05/12/12 at 15:48 PM

Dear Mr Benjamin Butler (Eugene Archibald)—(oh yes, I still remember your middle names),

Thank you for contacting me on the date of my birthday. I was beginning to fear that you had forgotten, but it was comforting to know your memory is not as bad as I remember it to be, although I find that your heart-warming (Note the sarcasm) e-mail contains many inaccuracies in it that I would like to address to you, so that, in future, you may not repeat such deep blunders again. So here you are—

A LIST OF INACCURACIES IN BENJAMIN BUTLER'S E-MAIL TO RIDLEY DENVERS:

1. I recall quite clearly that I was most certainly not, to quote your own words, 'beating' you to a 'bloody pulp' with a 'huge book'. The book was of a moderate size and I whacked you very gently – too gently, might I add. There was no way it could've hurt you or damaged your good looks.

2. Oh yeah, and inaccuracy number two? There were no good looks to even begin with! ;)

3. I am not missing 'the privilege' (more like misfortune) of your company, at all, Benjamin Butler. In fact, seeing as you were the one to e-mail me first, I'd say you were the one missing me.

4. The charming nickname 'carrots' that you have given me is, as of now, invalid as I am (alas) no longer a ginger. I dyed my hair blonde yesterday and it looks good. Check my recent Facebook pictures. Good god, boy, do catch up!

And those are all the inaccuracies that I found in your e-mail. I hope you are having a wonderful day (or is it night there in Canada? Wait, what is the difference in our time zones? I'll make it a point to check so I can give you a phone call soon).

Things are really good here. I have a nice roomie and she's Scottish – her name is Delilah but she insists on being called Dee. She's doing Biology and Physics, like you are. How are you? Is the Maple syrup there as nice as they say it is? I wonder if your accent is back to being Canadian again.

Love,

Rids x

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Email from: benjaminb

Email to: ridsdenvers

RE: Typical English students