Diary of a Stereotypical Queen Bee

Entry 2 - My Fairy Godmother

I'd like to think of her as my fairy god mother, even though it's been a long time since I've thought of my life as a fairy tale. I personally think fairy tales are kind of stupid. I would be the independent queen and not the princess, yet in the stories, the queen somehow never wins.

So I'm either the damsel in distress or I'm the villain? That's a bit harsh. It's not my fault that I'd rather take my life into my own hands, rather than let it take me.

In the words of Blair Waldorf, another great queen bee, "Destiny is for losers. It's just a stupid excuse to wait for things to happen instead of making them happen."

But anyway, I'm getting off track aren't I? My fairy godmother came late last night.

So I was by myself, in my huge, empty, and well protected house, until suddenly this perky red-headed girl jumps up, right smack in front of me and says, "Hi!"

So obviously, like any reasonable person, I screamed.

She screamed as well. "Ahh! What happened?!"

I made a disbelieving face and scrambled away from her. "Who are you and how did you get in my house?"

The teenage girl relaxed. "Oh. Gosh, you scared me. I'm sorry, I'm really bad at introductions, maybe I should redo this. Do you want me to poof out and then pop back in?"

After my mini heart attack, I could only stare at the mentally insane girl. "Who are you?"

She pouted. "Hey! I heard that. Oh, and I'm you!"

The girl gave an excited smile and waited for my response. I scrunched up my face. "What's that supposed to mean?"

"It means, silly, that now I'm a part of you. Congrats, 'cause I'm awesome. Anyways, I'm here to make you a better person."

My surprised face melted and I glared at the girl. "Excuse me? You're trespassing into my house and then insulting me? I don't think so."

The red-headed girl sighed. "You're awfully stubborn. How would anyone get into your house anyways, it's like Fort Knox over here."

"I don't know, that's what I'm trying to figure out."

The girl crossed her arms. "Get this through your head, Claire. I'm not trespassing. I'm you and I'm here to stay. For now at least."

I scowled. "What does that even mean? Can you speak like a regular person, please?" I hesitated. "Are you some kind of crazy stalker? Ew, if you are, you don't look anything like me. Word of advice: the red hair is tacky, although I will admit, you've got okay style."

Her mouth dropped with indignation. "It's strawberry blonde and you're just jealous you can't pull it off!"

I almost smiled for a second and I had to give that to her. "Okay, fine. You've got decent style. But if you're not some crazy stalker, you have three seconds to prove it before I call the cops."

The pretty red-head smiled. "For your own sake, I wouldn't do that if I were you. But, okay." She tapped her forefinger on her chin. "Hmm. Oh, I have an idea! You could walk through me."

"What?"

"Walk. Through. Me. Honestly Claire, you're kind of denser than I expected."

"I'm dense? You're asking me to walk through you."

The girl raised an eyebrow at me.

For some reason, I relented. "Ugh, fine! But I'm kicking you out right after." I huffed and made my way toward her. The girl stood still and smiled. I closed my eyes, feeling completely stupid, and then I kept walking, waiting to feel an impact.