Finding Us (Christian Interracial Romance)

The Weight She Carried

Jeremy

I sit in the living room with my laptop balanced on the coffee table, the glow of the paused YouTube screen throwing light across everyone's faces. I've been sitting here for ten minutes, trying to find the words, my thumb rubbing raw circles against my jeans. The thumbnail shows Cecilia with Stella and Reagan on either side of her. She looks beautiful—always does—but I know what's waiting once I press play.

I've watched it already. Twice. Each time, it cut me deeper.

And now I have to show my family.

My chest tightens like I'm about to stand on stage in front of millions, except this is worse. These are the people who know me best, the people who helped raise Cecilia alongside me. I don't want to see their hearts break. But I can't keep it from them either.

"Alright," I say, my voice raspier than usual. "There's something we need to watch. It's about Cecilia."

All eyes lift toward me.

The room is crowded—our entire family's crammed into the space like it's Christmas morning. Mom and Dad sit on the couch, their shoulders touching. Dylan leans against the wall, arms crossed, his usual picture of quiet strength. Amber's curled in the recliner, scrolling her phone until she hears Cecilia's name and sets it down reluctantly. Thomas lies on the rug with a half-empty Cheetos bag at his side. Athena sits next to me, her twin radar locked onto me, already sensing this isn't good. Bradley and Ellie are perched on the love-seat, barely blinking.

Athena tilts her head, eyes narrowing. "She's okay, right?"

"She's okay now," I say quickly. But my voice cracks on the word now, and it's enough to make Athena's hand find my arm.

"What is this, Jeremy?" Amber asks, suspicion in her tone.

"It's something she said on Stella and Reagan's podcast. Something she's never told us before." I take a breath. "Please—just watch."

The please does what I need it to. Everyone shifts into stillness. Dylan uncrosses his arms. Amber sets her phone face-down. Even Thomas stops chewing mid-bite.

I press play.

The intro is harmless enough—Stella and Reagan joking, Cecilia laughing softly. The sound of her laugh nearly undoes me. It's so familiar, the same laugh from sleepovers when we were kids, from the summers when she'd make me listen to new songs she'd written.

She talks about her career, the joy of music, the good things. My siblings nod, smiling at the nostalgia.

And then she shifts.

Her voice lowers, the rhythm slowing.

"Damien kept making comments about my weight. Told me I should eat 'less like my character.' I was always dieting. Always comparing myself. It turned into a full-blown eating disorder, but I kept it hidden. I thought that's what it meant to be successful. Starve your body. Starve your soul."

The room goes silent.

I feel everyone's eyes on the screen, then darting to each other, then back again.

"What?" Bradley whispers, his voice cracking.

"She... what?" Athena's hand slips from my arm. Her mouth is parted, eyes filling with horror.

Amber presses her hand to her chest. "Oh, my gosh. No. Cecilia?"

Mom's lips tremble as tears start welling. She shakes her head over and over. "She's our goddaughter," she whispers, broken. "We promised Mariam and Luis we'd look after her. And she was suffering like that right under our noses."