Familiar

(3) A Name To Conjure With

I had stood before her with the new form that I had made along with her subconscious, for myself. Though she had been shocked, I had sensed a gratifying absence of fear in her. This was a step forward.

She had not asked for my name like I had hoped with vicious passion, however. Instead, she had asked me what, and who I was, and why I kept appearing to her.  

I had answered her in the best way I could, so that she wouldn't misunderstand. I had spoken with a deep voice, in an accent that even I couldn't place. I came to understand later that it was not me, but her indecisiveness that gave me such aberrant a voice. She had yet to decide upon what I would sound like as I spoke telepathically in her mind. The one thing I could place in my voice, was a weary sounding rawness that often accompanied one who had seen and experienced horrors in this bitterly   poisoned world. It was strange, yet my voice of maturity had matched my youthful form.

You will come to realise, that my world is both illogical and logical, rational and irrational. Things can exist here that don't make sense elsewhere. You may think that what I can do is not inhibited by the simple laws of physics, but as I have explained before, they control me as much as they control the material you.

Though I can perform feats of incredulity, I am not free of the laws and restrictions that exist in my universe. Much like you, I can shrug off these restrictions temporarily through the realm of dreams, yet I will always be pulled back to the physical realm, mostly by her call.

I must explain to you where I go when I am not needed, for I do not loiter around her, risking another being of power noticing me, that would be...awkward. Instead, when my job is done, I am free to go where I please, doing whatever takes my fancy. Mostly I will retreat to the thought plains (the realm of dreams would be an example of one of these plains), where the impossible can exist. Here, the simple things that you think in your everyday lives, take form and 'live'. The last time I was there, I believe I met a character from one of your popular childrens' tales, what was his name...Harry Potter? 

So you don't believe me? I refer you to my previous attempts to explain magic; I theorized that a thought has power. Therefore, the more you think about something, and the more people that think about it, the more it is given form in the thought plains. I bet, if anyone wanted to conjure Harry Potter, they probably could. 

You really must learn to suspend what you know...what you think you know, about your reality. If you stick to your beliefs, you will only confuse yourself as I continue...

In reply to her questions, I had explained to her that I could be any number of things...

Some believe that we are kindred spirits, sent by some higher authority, to act as a guardian to those we become attached to. Others believe that we are separate parts of the soul that we protect, that we are the different pieces of the same person. Many believe that we are just intelligent, physical animals that bond with our owners. To be honest, I do not know which, if any of these are true, but I do know the name that accompanies them, and that is what I had told her what I am;

I am a familiar, and I am here to guard. I am not evil, not if she does not wish for me to be so, but do not misinterpret;

if you hurt her, in any way shape or form, with her approval, I will be worse than your worst nightmares. I will haunt you for the rest of your natural life, appearing in every shadow, in every bit of distrust in a relationship, in the eyes of your furthest friend and the hatred of your closest enemy. I will delve into the secrets you keep from yourself, deep inside your own mind, and I will unleash whatever personal demons await there. I will rip you apart slowly, and with pleasure. I will become the madness, the pain, and the fear. Yet I will be infinitely worse.

Fortunately, I had explained the concept well enough to her, that she did not feel the need to consult the Internet for further information. I implore you not to believe anything you read on that wicked site 'wikipedia'. I quote,

'[familiars] were often thought to be malevolent...[and] were often categorised as demons...[or] fairies.'

I must ensure you again, that I am not evil, not unless you do something that warrants my behaviour as such, of course. Neither am I a fairy or a demon, for I am not what was created in the thought plains when the first concept of these two beings was dreamt up. 

Finally, after I had finished my incredibly complex and confusing explanation of what I am (I must let you know, that since that fateful moment, I have had much time to revise my words, and the explanation I have offered you now, is much more simple than the one I originally offered her), she had asked my name. I breathed a sigh of relief and anticipation. The time had come at last.

I searched her subconscious with everything I had, searching for that one missing piece of information. Eventually, I stumbled upon a place which would provide me with my name. I accessed the thought, moulding it around me, until I became a largely important part of it. 

When I had looked around me, I had seen an ever-changing cacophony of sound rushing around me in a hurricane of rainbows. The scene transformed each time I thought that I had figured out what it was. From a forest setting, to rolling dunes of sand, it never stopped. The only constancy provided by this...these places, was a pedestal of stone, carved out of a large portion of rock, of which the jagged shards had still surrounded it. When I had approached the pedestal, I had beheld an object with such blinding beauty, that it was a vulgar constructed thing of ugliness. The pages were made of time, and the binding, of every emotion that had ever been felt, and ever would be felt. The words it contained were of everything that had ever been thought, future, present and past. 

I would not describe this object as a book, for it was so much more, but for the delicacy of a human mind which struggles with concepts such as 'an eternity', that was what it may have been. This book was special in its ordinary nature, yet in-distinctive in its exceptional qualities. Though I have tried to describe it with the inadequacy of language, I have failed to convey the true essence of what I experienced. Maybe you will see it one time, if you are lucky, in your adventures of the immaterial. Only by experiencing it yourself, can you truly understand.

As I had drawn closer to the object resting on the pedestal, a wave of peace came over me that I could not explain. I should have been anxious, or excited, for the moment when I would finally find out what my name was, would come, yet I had found myself feeling nothing but calm.

I had stretched my hand over the 'book', and had waited. I had watched in wonder as light crowned my outstretched limb, embracing it fully. Instantly at the contact, I had been provided with an overwhelming amount of knowledge that raced through my mind and exited it as swiftly as it had arrived. When I try to recall just one piece of that information, I find myself straining to remember even a fragment. However, there is one piece that remains with me even now. That information being my name.

As I soon as I had learnt what I had gone to learn, I had been expelled from that palace of thought and time, and my mind had been drawn back to my body which still had stood in front of her expectant gaze. Not a second had passed since she had asked that one question, but to me it had felt like hours had gone by.

I had opened my mouth as the most important word in the world to me fell out.

That one word being...

 ..........................................................................

'Dear bully, I don't hate you. I pity you. The thing to fear is not me and what I believe in, it is your own personal demons. Literally.'