White Shadows

Chapter 10 - Witch Hunt

***ALEX***

When I emerge from my room after spending an hour up there, Juliet's nowhere to be found. Which sucks. Instead, I find Fionna idly changing channels in the living room. "Ooh, that Orphan Black marathon's still going on," she says after finally settling on BBC America. "You like that show, right, Feathers?"

"I love it," I say with a grin. Unfortunately, right now I can't really get interested in this installment of the misadventures of the sestras of Clone Club. I've got too much on my mind. When the next commercial break comes by, I tell Fionna how Juliet's been acting so weird since we came to the Second 'Verse.

"Like you haven't been acting weird yourself," she says.

"Yeah." I blush. "It's true."

"'Cause you're around me too," she says, looking down at the floor and collecting her thoughts. "You still love me, don't you?"

No response from me. Nothing verbal, anyway.

"If it's any consolation, I don't like it either," Fionna says, taking my hand. "I wanna be happy, but I want you to be happy too. Don't think you have to chase me to the far corners of the world - this one or the Prime one."

"I know. I know I shouldn't. But I can't help myself."

"Tell me about it."

"Literally or figuratively?"

Fionna shrugs. "Literally. Why not?"

"As you wish," I laugh. "Well, I...I just wish we could've had things be more normal for us. I'm always picturing it, how everything could've been different. We could've gotten together for the first time on that blind date, had that first double date with Gabe and Kyle...but then there wouldn't be any of that Red Rain shit. You wouldn't have died, Gabe wouldn't have died. I'd have been able to bring you home for Christmas to meet my mom - she would've loved you, I bet."

The music in Fionna's head turns up for a moment - "Everybody Loves Me" by OneRepublic.

"Exactly," I say. Holding her hand tighter, I continue. "And then we could've...after dinner, we could've laid out a blanket on the roof or the front lawn or something, and just...rested there. Looking up at the stars and holding hands." I wipe the tears from my eyes. "This is gonna sound so stupid, but...I don't think my life would be complete if I don't do that at least once before I graduate. Hold hands with a girl and look at the stars, that is."

Fionna can't help but laugh. "See, that's funny 'cause..." She lets go of my hand. "Not 'cause it's stupid, but 'cause it's different. Most boys your age have a more sexy goal in mind for before they graduate."

There is no way she doesn't want me to laugh along with her, not with the way she's sliding her left index and middle fingers through a circle made with her right index and thumb. Her goal is accomplished - I find myself guffawing at her suggestive gesture, even more tears streaming from my eyes as a result.

"Don't tell me that was part of your alternate-universe fantasy," she says.

"What, you mean us sleeping together?"

She nods. "Yeah, that."

"I'd like to think we would've gone all the way, yeah." I look at my feet, feeling my face flush. "I'd like to think that, by now, I would've come to love and trust you enough. Probably would've gotten a hotel room on prom night so we could've-"

"Okay, that's enough," Fionna snickers. "Yeah, you're right, that would be a perfect world for us. But you gotta admit, the experiences we did end up having, they were a hell of a lot more interesting."