I look in the mirror to figure out who I am.

Chapter five

This is early becuase I didn't know if i would have had the time to post it late in the week. Thanks again to all the wonderful people who are reading my story. Victoria is the most amazing every and so is MJTWE3. Thank you both for continuing to read my story. This is a dark chapter and I actually starting crying while writting it. I LOVE DREW!! I just want to get that out there because I torchure the shit out of him in this chapter. THIS IS THE ONLY REALLY DARK CHAPTER IN THIS STORY I PROMISE. It ties everything together so I can't take it out. But skip it if you need to.  DISCLAIMER! I do not own the boys or some of tha characters in this story so far. Please don't hate me.

*Drew’s POV*

I walk into my house to find it just as empty as it was when I left this morning. I wonder where dad could possibly be. He gets off around the time school ends so he should be home by now.

Unless he had a bad day at the office again. Then he would be at the bar drinking away his pay check. I really hope that he doesn’t do that seeing as we still need to pay the bills and get more food. We are running low.

I walk into the kitchen and open the pantry to get a snack, but it is completely empty again. I walk to the refrigerator and hope that there is at least something in there.

Bingo. Looks like I am having cheese, because that is all that is left.

I glance at the clock while I head upstairs to put my stuff down and see that I still have an hour before I have to go back to the school for the game tonight.

I should start on my homework, but I really need to play my guitar. Today was about as horrible as they come.

I got paired with a complete dick for a history project, practically molested by Mrs. Lovato in science (I hate that lady. Why is she even a teacher?), and then I had to walk home today because Peter is busy hooking up with some cheerleader before the game.

I pull my guitar out from its hiding place and start to strum it.

“I say, bless me with a heart of gold,

A positivity and a story to be told

I tripped, fell down through the sky,

it's what it took for me to learn how to fly like,

oh yeaaah

Let my spirit fly,

my intentions are not to intoxicate but purify.

Give me truth, or everytime I he-“

My phone goes off.

“Hello?”

“Hey, Drew. We need you hear at the field. Coach scheduled a last minute practice before the game. You need a ride?”

I hid my guitar under my bed and grab my football pads and gear and shove them in my duffle bag. “Yea, that would be helpful dude. I don’t think I will survive if I try to walk back with the way traffic is now.”

Practice went by without a problem and the game went the way we all thought it would. We crushed the other team 43-12.

“Drew! We did it! We beat there asses!” The team was cheering and the crowd went wild. And yet, none of it even mattered to me at all.

There was no pride or joy. I felt like tonight was the biggest waste of my time.

This girl come up to me after the game. I think her name is Candy. “Drew,” she purred as she circled her arms around my neck. “Are you going to the party tonight? I think we should get to know each other a lot more.”

It took everything I had not to shove her away. I am not in the mood for any of this.

“Actually I can’t. I need to go home.” No one really seemed to care that I wasn’t going to be there anyways, so why go? It is nothing but a waste of time that could be spend on homework or song writing. They all left soon after that and I started my walk home.

I like walking home in the dark. People leave you alone and there are no idiotic drivers on the road at this hour.  The moon looks beautiful. I stop for a minute and just take in the beauty of it all. It makes you truly forget about your problems. Even if it just for a second.

I wonder if dad is home yet. I look at my phone and see that it is almost nine o’clock. He usually never stays out this late unless it has been a really bad day. Well, this should be fun.

As I walk up to my house I see that the car is still not in the drive way. I run my hands through my hair and pull my key out of my duffle bag.

I quickly head up stairs and hope that I am at least in bed when he gets home so that I can either be asleep or pretend to be. I have the feeling tonight is going to get bad.

Just as I put my stuff down and change out of my football I hear the car pull into the drive way.

“BOY! WHERE ARE YOU?” The front door slams and I am up and down the stairs in about 3 seconds.

“Hey dad. How was your day?” I can smell the alcohol from where I was standing so I pretty much know the answer to that question.

“Don’t get smart with my boy.” He staggers closer and it is all I can do not to back away. He gets really angry if I back away.

“I was working my ass off while you laid around and did nothing! When are you going to get a job you lazy piece of shit!”

He clomps drunkenly into the kitchen and pulls out another beer. I edge slowly to the stairs while his back is turned.

He hasn’t been this drunk in a long time. Before I can even make it to the stairs he is back in the living room.

“Where are you going boy? I am not done talking with you yet.”

He pushes me down on the ground. “If you weren’t sure a pansy your mother wouldn’t have left us. You are worthless. I wish you had never even been born.”

Before I can get up he starts kicking me in the stomach. I do the only thing I can, which is curl up in a ball and take it. I can’t hit him. I CAN’T.

I hear the sound of glass breaking and I look up to see that he dropped his beer.

‘FUCK! Boy you wait right there.” He aims another hard kick at my ribs. “I will be right back.”

I know that if I move he will just beat me worse. It happens every time he gets this drunk, but if I can just make it up the stairs maybe it won’t happen tonight.

I almost make it when I feel his grip on the back of my neck. “WHAT THE FUCK DID I TELL YOU?” I am thrown back into the glass table top. I cry out as I feel a giant piece of glass stab into my side.

There is a mess of blood and glass as I do my best to push past the pain and move out of the way of his fist.

I try my best to defend myself but the pain is so extreme. Why is he doing this to me? What did I do? DO I really deserve this? I wish I could fight back but he is still my father. He is the only thing I have left.

“You are the reason everything bad happens to me! I hope you rot in hell!” He grabs a piece of the glass and slices open the other side of my stomach. I scream and try to get away, but I can’t.

It fucking hurts! Please stop. Please dad. I AM SORRY!!

He leaves. The room is dark and I can’t feel my side. Maybe I deserve this. Maybe Wesley is right?

No. NO. I can’t give up. I won’t give up. I am worth something and I will get out of this town.

I struggle to get up and pull myself into the downstairs bathroom. Luckily for me there is still the stitch kit from the stupid summer camp I had to go to.

I inspect my injuries. They aren’t that bad and I may only need a few stitches. I work on that for about twenty minutes and wait to make sure he isn’t coming back down the stair.

Once I am sure he is asleep I set to work cleaning the living room.

I would give anything to be somewhere else right now.