My Life As Teenage Nerd

Prologue

I rounded the corner, my hood up. They had followed me all the way from the school to my house block. I went through this almost everyday, being followed and beaten up. I had the scars to prove it.

I was about to be home free when a hand pushed me up against the wall, my head hitting it hard.

"Where you going Felix, buddy? I thought you were going to hang with us." The guy said, spitting with each word.

Tonight was the usual gang, Baxter and Trint. Baxter, the top dog, towered over my 6.2 height at 7.1. I swear they had injected him with steroids when puberty hit, cause he was that tall at 17.

Trint was the one who usually held me down while Baxter kicked and punched to his heart's content. He stood short at 5.5, but weighed the same as a baby elephant.

"Please leave me alone, Baxter. I have cash," He brightens,"Thirty bucks, it's yours!" I throw the wad of fives to the ground, and Trint picks them up, pocketing them.

There goes my bus fare for the next month, I think.

"Well, where's the fun in that? I don't hear your whimpers of pain, I'll just come next time with my rings on . . . " He says, dropping me, and snatching the cash from Trint, who complains. The walk away, and I start to turn around when my legs are swept from under me, and I hit the ground hard. I look up just in time to see Baxter's fist lining up with my face, then It all goes black . . . . .

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I woke up on my bed, a worried brother leaning over me. His green eyes are laced with worry, and I sit up.

"Baxter?" He asks, and I let out a shaky breath while nodding. My body trembles as tears prick my eyes, daring to fall. He gets up, and bangs his fist on the wall. "Why don't you just have me pick you up from school. I don't want you to have to go through this like Benny did." I freeze at the mention of our smaller brother's name.

~I had walked into the house, my nose bleeding. I knew Benny was home, his bike was out front. I started to search.

"Benny! Hey Ben, where you hiding?" I yelled, heating water on the stove and putting in a pack of ramen noodles. I walked away, and down the hall to his bedroom, where I saw him face down on his bed. I shake him, trying to wake him.

"Hey Ben, I got noodles going. You hungry?" I whisper, turning him over. But I freeze at the sight before me.

Slits going down his arms, blood dried over them, horizontal and vertical. His neck, slit as well. And a gun, clutched tightly in his small hand. A hole in his chest.

Dead. Our little brother.

An adorable eight year old who'd made the bad times good. Help us rise out of the darkest holes. Saved me from suicide. And now he'd committed it.

I felt tears run down my face as I touched his icy skin, no longer warm and comforting. I grasped his hand, and screamed. Screamed cause I was scared, cause I was hurt, cause I'd lost my brother. I walked over and pulled a sheet from my bed, and covered his body. Pulling out my phone, I call Jackson.

"What's up, Felix?" He asks, knowing I never call just to say hey.

"Get home now, Jack. It's . . . it's Benny. H-he's dead."

The phone clicks, and not five minutes later is Jackson by my side, crying. He hadn't cried even when Mama had walked out, or when Daddy had been killed. I cried daily, surprised I hadn't done this yet myself.

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We buried Benny the day after. No viewing, just a burial. Our family was wealthy, but poorly respected. No one, not even close relatives, showed up for the burial. Me, Jackson, and the graveyard workers.

As we left Benny's grave, and small part of both me and Jackson died.~

"I'm not going to be like Benny, Jackson." I said, getting up and grabbing the rag from the bathroom. I wiped the dried blood from my face, and turned on the shower.

Maybe it would wash the scars away this time.