Dear diary...
Yes,its me again...Today my brother Adam traveled back to the US one more time for college .That is his second year now...my relationship with my brother is different than any other siblings in the entire world!! He is like my twin,my other half ..i used to depend on him on everything until last year when he decided that he is gonna study abroad.It was the first time ever that we were away from each other!!It was a very dark year for me...i used to cry every other day... i was feeling depressed,broken and alone!!I had to be totally independent!!!
This time ,a week before his travel date ,i tried to prepare my self emotionally.I thought to myself ,"okayyy Alexandra you are a big girl now you're 17!!!Please don't waste whats left of your summer and your senior year depressed and sitting at home!This year must be different!"
On the way to the airport i tried to act cool,like i don't care but the lump in my throat didn't quite well agree..it kept on growing bigger and bigger..
And then it was time to say goodbye...i saw Adam offering his arms for a hug..but in my mind his hands were widening in slow motion..."ohh no no no don't do this please nooo" i whispered to myself..and then i let it all out..i burst out in tears.
"heeeyy alexandra don't cry!!!"he said as he tried to teasingly tickle me.
"I'm not cryingg!! this is only my eyes drooling!!"we both laughed as I hugged him so tight that I felt if I squeeze alittle bit harder his ribs will stick in his backbone
And then each one walked in different direction.
As the distance between us increased ,the feeling that i was dreading started taking over my mind slowly...Loneliness
I quickly started looking for a distraction before this feeling conquers me again...as i was scrolling down my Facebook news feed i saw the watt-pad's page
TING!!..a light bulb just went off in my head..I'm going to write my diary on wattpad and it doesnt even matter if anyone reads it or not ,at least when im 90 years old ill have something to read.
I honestly don't know if by the end of this i'll be that super duper sociable person,or if i will feel any less comfortable meeting new people or if ill get accepted to my dream university
but what i know for sure is that i'm not gonna do like the previous year and hide myself away from the world and add another layer to my shell
I will put my self out there and i will try to challenge myself and i will try to be a little bit more confident .I don't want life to draw a path for me ,i want to for once to be in control and draw my own path.And as much as i love my brother ,i want to step out of his shadow .No more Adam and his sister but Adam and Alexandra.
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heyyy guys that's the end of the intro please comment below and tell me what you think
