Unexpected

Guilty Conscience

Chapter Fourteen: Guilty Conscience

Hiccup could not believe what had just come out of his mouth. What the Hel had happened to his brain? His common sense? His humanity? Had they all just slipped away while he said the most horrible thing he could imagine to his wife who, on top of suffering from flashbacks, was mere weeks away from giving birth? Nothing she said deserved that kind of response. Why had he said it? What was wrong with him?

He opened his mouth but no sound came out. He shut it again, furious at himself for having no words to say to undo the worst thing he had ever said in his life. He stood frozen, watching his wife slowly walk over, raise her hand, and slap him across the face. She had hit him so hard, sounds were slightly muffled in his left ear for the next few minutes. A sharp pain radiated all over half of his face and he was surprised at her strength. For a second, they stared at each other, neither able to say a thing, and then she turned around and walked away from him.

He could hear his heart thudding in his chest as he slowly lifted his hand and touched the place she had hit him. It stung slightly but the worst of the pain had passed. He vaguely heard her take off on Stormfly and had the tiniest urge to run after her. No. He wasn't going to do that. He was going to let her cool off and come to him. She hated it when he tried to make up before she was ready. And if there was one thing he knew about his wife, it was that she would eventually come around.

It was a few minutes before he realized that she was long gone and that he should probably clean up the mess he had made. He looked down at the shattered fragments of the cups he had destroyed in his anger and was appalled that he had gone that far. He had never lost control like that. And Astrid's face as he shouted at her... she had certainly never looked at him like that before. Very slowly, he lowered himself to his knees and silently picked up the broken pieces of clay. When Astrid returned, he didn't want her to accidentally step on them. Once he had picked up the large pieces, he placed them on the table and brought out a broom, carefully sweeping away the rest of the fragments so that it was if he hadn't lost control at all. This only took about ten minutes so, once he had finished, he still wasn't sure what to do. What could possibly make up for what he had said?

As he began to slowly pace around, he caught sight of something on the wall, something he had seen many times but hadn't fully registered. It was a horribly made dagger, lopsided and not in any way sharp. He immediately recognized it as the first one he had ever made in Gobber's workshop. And then he had presented it to Astrid when they were about six years old. Was that how old they were? That sounded about right. He remembered the hours he had spent trying to get the shape right and how proud he had been when he finally finished it and presented it to the girl he liked. How she had smiled when she saw it, clearly not caring that it wasn't the least bit dangerous. And she had saved it for all these years and hung it on the wall.

She needed a better dagger. One he made for her that she could actually use. And that was the best thing he could think of to give her to make her feel better. He quickly walked out the door and, ignoring Toothless completely, jogged to Gobber's workshop. Gobber had his head in Hookfang's mouth (something Hiccup thought was incredibly risky) and seemed to be cleaning the dragon's back teeth.

As he crafted the dagger, he felt like he was pounding his own words into oblivion. He hated himself for what he had said to his wife. He desperately hoped that she would come home that night so he could beg for her forgiveness. He wouldn't put it past her to spend another night with Ruffnut and Tuffnut. This thought didn't comfort him at all.

When he finally finished the dagger, it was the most perfect thing he had ever made. Perhaps it was his anger that gave him the ability to craft such a fine weapon. Maybe it was his guilt. Either way, Astrid would love it. And, just because he was still feeling guilty, he decided to carve her name into the hilt. It took hours but it was perfect. Hopefully she would appreciate it and, if he was lucky, her anger at him would melt away. And then they could have a long talk about what to do about their baby. Yes, everything was going to be okay soon.