All The Same

Chasing Cars

****************

If I lay here
If I just lay here
Would you lie with me and just forget the world?

- Chasing Cars, Snow Patrol

******************

So with one last look at what he had called home for the past months, and to the silhouette of his one and only love, he walked away with a heavy heart...

...but two arms reached out and encircled around his torso. 

"You're running away again? This is a bad habit of yours, Yoh." Anna protested, determined to stand her ground.

He stopped in his tracks, brows furrowed, confused with her gesture. He sighed and tried to resume his steps but this only made her tighten her hold on him.

"I...want you to stay with me. That's what I want." She continued.
"What for? We'd both end up miserable. What I want, is for you to be happy."
"I am happy here."
"Seriously, Anna. Just stop."
"I need you."
"... "
"I need you." She reassured. "Give me a chance to prove myself."

Is she for real? After I've gathered enough courage to walk away...what is with this uncertainty? No, no. Can't get cold feet now. Just one more step; one more step and I'm sure she'll let go. 

"Please, Yoh." She buried her face on his back, held on tighter like her life depended on it. 

The Asakura heir hesitantly placed his hands over and unlatched her arms. He turned to face her with the solid plan of telling her off; however, his resolve waned the moment he stared into her eyes.

"You are driving me crazy, Anna." He sighed in resignation and embraced her. 

****

Now, what was that Anna? Why did you stop him? What is wrong with you? 

Indeed, what is wrong with me? I know for sure I don't love him, but I don't dislike him either. He made me feel safe, and...wanted. If the circumstances were different, if everything wasn't messed up, if only I had met him first -- or...

Nevermind that. I meant every word. I wanted him to stay. Whatever my reasons are, which I still can't figure out, I know for certain I didn't want him to leave. It's not even about the contract, or the whole ruckus he would've caused if the word got out, it's...ughhh! I don't know. I think I'm about to lose it too.

****


I dragged him back to the house, and we stayed in my room. We lay in bed, face to face -- I made sure I held his hand as tightly as possible, to let him know that I mean business. 

It annoyed me somehow that all he did was smile and fixated his gaze on me, like I'm the most important thing ever. I don't even deserve that. Heck, I don't even deserve him. I have done nothing to deserve this man.

I rack my brain to search for answers until I slowly drifted to sleep.

****

Anna was indeed exhausted that she just fell asleep. In her dream state,

The boy grinned sheepishly as he stood up, dusted his clothes and offered his hands, to which she glared at instantly. He rubbed the back of his neck with his other hand and apologized profusely.

"I'm sorry. My name is Yoh, what's yours?"
"You're in my way. Go and die." She replied in the most frigid manner.
"Eh?" His mouth hung open at her response.

What is this? A memory? Wait...

"Master Yoh!" Two men shouted his name from a distance.

"I gotta go! I'm sorry!"

What did he say his name was?

He bolted past her through the street and failed to notice the oncoming vehicle.

Hey, watch out!

Yoh froze at the scene and held his breath for the impact, but all he felt was his face hitting the pavement from a hard shove. When he opened his eyes, the car had crashed into a nearby pole and people started gathering around.

"I-I'm alright."

Stupid kid! We could've died there!

"Someone call 119!" One stranger shouted.

The young Asakura insisted he was fine, and that there's no cause for alarm. He turned his head sideways, and was horrified to learn, that the girl he talked to just a few seconds ago lay there motionless, soaked in her own blood.

Who is that...? Wait...

****


I woke up from my dream and expected him to console me, tell me that's it's alright, but he wasn't there. Distraught, I stood up and went downstairs, even struggled at the damn door knob beforehand. I looked everywhere in the main house and found no one. I was about to cry when he emerged from upstairs.

"What are you doing Anna? It's too early. Let's go back to sleep."

His eyes were half-lidded as he tried to suppress a yawn, but failed. 

"Where did you go?" I asked. I hoped he didn't notice that my voice quivered.

"To the bathroom...upstairs, in your bedroom? Are you okay?"

I went up to him, embraced him and said "Don't do that again."
"Don't do what again? You mean, I can't pee?"
"No, dumbass."
"Seriously, are you okay? Are you feeling sick?"
"No. Don't move."

Yoh sighed. 

"Nah," He whined, scooped her up, made their way upstairs and set her down to bed gently. "I want to go back to sleep....unless you have something else in mind?"

Yoh grinned widely.

"Yeah, didn't think so."

And he's back. This the Yoh I know.

****

I saw her struggle with the doorknob. I was about to open my mouth when she finally succeeded in opening the door and frantically made her way out. I wonder what's wrong?

Any other time and I would've panicked as well but today seemed...different. Different how? Well, It took me five minutes to break free without waking her up; my hand went numb from her vise grip. I guess she really meant it when she said she doesn't want me to leave. 

I stifled a laugh when I found her downstairs and looked like she was about to cry. Maybe she thought I left? But how could I? Oh yeah, it's probably my fault. I did try to leave. *sighs*