paul breach x reader

"Here we are, bubba!"

Paul and I have been together for a while now.. Paul has continued to pursue Tiktok livestreams, but we no longer live in our luxurious mansion that could house 7+ dwarves from snow White. we've been reduced to Paul's dad's house, which is kind of okay-

"Bubba!"

His voice interrupted my life update. How are the readers gonna know where we are now if he's just gonna interrupt me?

"Five more minutes.." I groaned, turning over and pulling the duvet over my shoulders, my eyes still firmly shut as I tried to clutch onto sleep.

"Come on Bubba! It's urgent, quick! I've got a surprise!"

His voice rang through my ears. I sighed and decided to hear him out despite my desire for sleep. I rubbed my eyes and opened them, looking up at my honeybun.

"Yes, Paul?"

"We need to go wild camping!" Paul proposed. He seemed like he was hiding something from me.

"Right.. okay. sure." I grumbled.

"Pack all of your things, my delectable little princess!" he encouraged, before retreating to the living room.

I sat up, running my hands through the messy bun I had thrown my hair into. I sleepily swung my legs out of bed and over the mattress, slowly standing up as I came around after sleeping for so long. As I came to my senses, I packed all of my essentials into a bag, just as Paul had instructed me to. I couldn't help but wonder what's made him wake me up so early. Well, that, and why he wanted me to pack all of my things. How important could this possibly be? I'm meant to have school tomorrow.

I exited the bedroom with my bag. Paul was in the living room, bag on the floor, barefoot, doing a tiktok dance, subtly lifting up his jumper every so often like he always did. I just stood there awkwardly in the doorway until he was done.

After a couple of takes and the awkward silence of his lipsyncing and the sound of his feet against the hardward floor, he finished, watched the video over, posted it and looked up at me.

"There you are, my scrummy pookie pie!" he greeted. "We're going wild camping, my delectable little petite princess."

"Why?" I asked, tilting my head. "Surely you should've told me soone-"

"I-it was urgent! We need to go today! He interjected. Okay pal.

"Okay, okay." I sighed. I hooked my bag over my shoulder as he received a one person tent and his own bag.

After a few minutes of contemplating every single life choice that lead me to this point, I left Paul's dad's house with Paul and walked into a field. The walk only took about 4 hours. Got to get my steps in, apparently.

"Ah, here we are, bubba!"

He settled his bag on the floor of the field. He then opened up the tent bag and began to set up the tent.

About 2 hours later.. we were huddled up in the small tent. Paul was livestreaming, as always. He never seemed to stop. He was always broadcasting to the world..

I was staring at his live chat, reading every individual piece of text. It was a rare moment where he had chat on, and didn't turn it off as to avoid hate from people critiquing him.

There were a few comments that stuck out to me.

"Paul acting like he's wild camping when he's just homeless."

"homeless behaviour 🥀"

"unc in the wild"

Hm. He usually overshared with his fans. I decided I'd talk to him once his livestream was over. I wasn't about to cause another online drama by arguing on stream. I was too sleep deprived for this.

2 hours passed. Paul was laid on his side, looking at me with his rosy cheeks.

"P-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-paul?" I spoke up, twiddling with my fingers.

"Yes, snookums?" He replied.

"Are you.. h-h-h-homeless now? did your dad kick you out and that's why y-you were so desperate to leave?" I asked.

"No, of course not, bubby. We're wild camping! obviously." He replied.

Well, he was obviously lying. Everyone and their grandma could see that. That's if there were any grandmas in the area.

"Why do you always lie to me?" I asked, folding my arms.

"Don't be ridiculous, bubba." He responded, his voice slightly firmer now.

I wanted to avoid an argument, but it seemed tensions were rising faster than his jumper in his tiktok dance videos. So I decided sleep was the best option for now.

"Okay, okay." I sighed. "I'm going to sleep."

"Night bubba."

"Night snookum sugar pie."

I turned over, turning my back to him and finally falling asleep.

Why does he lie?

A/N

heyyy guess who's back after like 2 years. I recently logged back into wattpad after a while and I genuinely forgot about this. I've seen all the views, comments and reactions and honestly the amount of support this has gotten despite being a book that was meant for comedy purposes is insane. I just wanted to thank you all for that.
Anyway side note so I know I'm not the only one, is it just me who's absolutely devastated that megadeth is retiring? ozzy's death broke me too 💔