Demolition lovers...

First class

We got to the door of the classroom of our first class, Kellin linked arms with me and skipped up to Xaviour.

"Hey dude don't get too mad at me, but things aren't really working between us, I found someone new" he grabbed my arm, pulling me closer and smiling at me.
He was near my height, only a little shorter.
Xaviour held his chest with a hurt expression on his face.
"I'll be your bottom bitch then" he replied with a smirk.
Kellin laughed adorably and messed with Xaviour's spiked hair.
I shyly laughed with them.
I saw Frank walking towards the classroom, carrying his two books close to his chest with his arm.

He walked past me, looking at the floor and I saw Zach walk up behind him, an evil grin plastered on his face.
I should've done something because it was clear that he had bad intentions. But I didn't, I kinda just froze... I finally had friends, I didn't want to give that up.

Zach inched closer to Frank's back. I watched him push Frank over Xaviour's foot, tripping him over.
Poor guy.
I instantly bent down to him and offered my hand. He stared at my hand and looked down, still sitting there.

"God Gerard why don't you just kiss him" Kellin teased, the guys laughed and Frank smiled at the floor.
I couldn't help but smile at Frank's sneaky grin.
He seemed awfully happy about Kellin's suggestion.
I took my hand away and looked up.
"You want help or what?" I impatiently asked Frank.
He scoughed at me and got up, leaving me, crouching on the floor, attempting to help him stand up.
He rolled his eyes.
"I don't need help, you know what, I thought you seemed cool, but you're just fake like everybody else here" he glared at me, it stung... I felt hurt by his hateful expression.

What did I do? I wanted to get to know Frank too, he seemed really interesting and yet mysterious.
Kellin laughed as Frank walked into the classroom.
I felt horrible, I wanted so badly to be accepted that I just watched Frank being teased and taunted by my own friends.

Xaviour pointed to Frank and we walked into the classroom.
"You know, Frank is like a total freak, we don't really want you to get too attached to him" Kellin explained in a serious tone.
We sat down at a desk... Alone, together.
Just me and Kellin, I was a little uncomfortable actually.
"So please don't talk to him, we don't talk to friends of his" he shuddered.
I gulped and sank back in my chair.
Kellin laughed at me.
"What are you doing?" He asked seemingly entertained.
I didn't even know what I was doing... I was scared of my feelings towards Frank.

I looked across the classroom and saw him resting his head on his hand and dreamily staring at me.
I stared back and he immediately looked away, I cleared my throat and turned to face the front again but I could see Frank staring at me again in the corner of my eye.
So I did that chill move of looking at a poster behind him, but this time his eyes were stuck like glue, I looked at the teacher who was staring at Frank, as was the rest of the class.

"Frank? Your answer" the teacher demanded.
Frank cleared his throat and slowly slid his arms off the desk.
The teacher was not thrilled by his oblivious answer of "Repeat the question".
The rest of the class laughed at him.
It just wasn't right they were chanting "Frank likes boys, Frank's a sinner" it was like a cultist chant, him being the rebellious outcast whom they were chanting about seemed all too familiar.

I think that's what drew me closer to Frank, the fact that I've experienced what he continues to go through.
Even now I remain the outsider, observing how the popular people function so I can attempt to conform with the material standards.

I often thought of other people as creatures that I could watch for reference in my own life, like I was so different from them, an alien. Not to say I have a God complex but I knew I was different from everyone else, ever since High school in Salem.
I knew that I would never be like them, I refused to become the person I despised but already it felt like I was fooling myself into thinking I hadn't changed.
You know I may be avoiding nicknames like "Gerard Gay" or "Germard" but was it really worth it to change myself...

I would contemplate my decisions a lot of the time in class, I spent most days considering my life if I stayed at Salem High School.

My thoughts were always interrupted by a pair of Hazel eyes, staring at me from across the classroom.
I always caught him staring at me, in every class, every day.
It was creepy most days but other days when I bothered to stare back at him, his ecstatic and slightly embarrassed expression was always so rewarding.

I started getting used to my new class schedule and Kellin hung around me all the time, he would forbid me to draw or read my comic books when he was around because he wanted me to do stuff with him and not my books and crafting supplies.

But when Kellin left me alone, I was relieved, it felt better to be alone.

I decided to spend my time drawing my plans for a mask I was working on.
I always had my comic book ideas like masks and costumes, Vincent told me I was wasting my time cause most comic book artists don't get published.
He told me he thought I should go into music instead because I have a good voice and strong stage presence.

It was true, I lost myself on stage, I never felt like I could be me.
I relied on a character, Gee was his name... Just Gerard but confident and I've been told by Zach and Xaviour that he's also extremely sassy.
Pfft, yeah sure, he's the sass queen.
Not me, I'd rather stay in the shadows.
I appreciate not having any attention on me.

Zach caught on to my behaviour though and asked me if I wanted to kill myself. I replied with a "You wanna do it for me".
He didn't get the joke and thought there was something seriously wrong with me.
He from then on assumed that I was depressed and suggested many people for me to see.
I'll let him think that, you are entitled to your own opinion I guess, but I don't think I could do that to the people who love me, it goes completely against everything I stand for.

I don't think anything and I mean ANYTHING is worth taking your own life over.
I guess it's nice that Zach cares though.