Colors || a.i

in which a girl finds her new colors

i became used to being grey. i got used to that almost numb feeling where you're living but you don't truly feel alive. i got used to being lonely and it only got worse the older i got. throughout elementary school i got teased about not having my parents around. i got strange looks whenever i would tell people that i lived with my grandmother. in middle school i got braces and i was constantly tormented by the other children in my grade. i fit the perfect cliche of the nerdy girl with the enormous glasses and pimpled face and, yes, braces.

going through all of that made me want to constantly curl into a ball and hide. i was different. i've always been different and i hated it. the mere thought of going to high school sent a chill through me.i got my braces off the summer before high school started but i was still petrified to go.  i begged gram to let me be home schooled or take online classes. i researched every way possible that i could get out of going to high school but it was no use. gram forced me to go.

but it wasn't as bad as i'd thought it would be. thought being the key word. i expected for the popular kids to always pull pranks on me or to tease me incessantly about my glasses but they didn't. i got the occasional side comment but for the most part i was invisible. which was good in a way. i was never one that liked attention. i made it thorough most of my high school years without attracting attention to myself. i kept quite.

it was the first day of my senior year and i thought it would be like any other year; having the same feeling everyday, blending into the crowds, and taking the occasional insult. but senior year was completely different from what i expected. the day was fine, it was no different than my previous first day of school until it was time for art class.

i walked into the art room with my head down and sat at a table in the middle of the room. there were a few students scattered about the room chatting and laughing among themselves but there was a certain laugh in particular that caused me to snap my head up and direct my attention to the back of the room.  and there he was. it knew his laugh. it has barely changed since that last time i'd heard it. it still had the same childish ring to it. it was the kind of laugh you couldn't forget. it was a laugh that could cause anyone who heard it to smile.

my eyes drifted to the different face of the people he was with and when my eyes finally landed on him my heart skipped a beat. he hadn't changed a bit, for the most part. he was taller, more muscular, and had a bit of stubble that adorned his perfectly chiseled jaw. but other than that he hazel eyes were just as beautiful as i remembered from when we were kids. his smile was just as bright with those dimples that you can't. he still wore his hair a bit messy and it still managed to look flawless.

he must have sensed my stare because he turned his head away from the blonde haired boy he was talking to and his eyes locked with mine.  i immediately turned my head away in embarrassment and looked down at my desk.

seeing him again stirred up all of these emotions inside of me. i felt awake again i felt alive again. i didn't feel numb. i didn't feel gray anymore. i was red. i still felt heat in my cheeks from knowing that he caught me staring at him. my heart was beating rapidly and i couldn't get it to slow down. i loved this feeling. it was exhilarating. i felt like i had just taken a breath of fresh air. i couldn't wipe the smile off of my face. i wanted to turn around and look at him again. i wanted to take in every small detail of his face. but i restrained myself.

i was astonished. i had gone through my entire high school career without setting eyes on him until this moment. it made me wonder if he'd seen me before thought i doubted it. he was popular and adored by all. he had no reason to notice me. there was nothing special about me. nothing significant that has changed since grade school that would make him see me now, in high school, and think to himself, "wow." I was just me and there was nothing special about that. but i still had a slight grin on my face form the look that we shared moments ago.

i couldn't get it out of my head. the intensity of his stare. the way he looked at me made me feel that he could see right through me made me feel that he saw my every thought and emotion. the very though of it caused the red i felt to ignite inside of me and pulse through my veins. i felt the heat of the red in my cheeks. it brought goosebumps to my arms. it made my heart pound. i was a awake. i was new. i was not longer gray. i was red.

the bell rang signaling the start of class and the art teacher ms. daley asked every to find a seat.

"now i know most of you in here are seniors that need a final fine art credit before you graduate," she spoke, "so i must established some kind of order so I've created a seating chart."

the class let out a collective groan while i remained silent. i was indifferent about seating charts. without one i would need to sit in total isolation from my peers but with one i was put in the midst of friends and kept quiet. ms. daley grabbed a piece of paper that was one her desk and started pointing at tables and calling our names. it was when she pointed to the third table that I heard my name.

"Natalie and Ashton, you'll be at this table."

her sentence made my heart stop.

ashton.

the boy with the beautiful laugh would be sitting next to me in art class.

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ayyyyyyy I'm not dead. for anyone still reading thanks for waiting for me. I've been thinking a lot about this books and I've got plans for it. I'm out of school so hopefully I'll have more time to write and update.

let me know what you guys think of the story so far and someone pleeeeeaaassseeee be the annoying person that nags me to update cuz I need that

any whoop thanks for reading and I'll marry anyone that votes on this chapter bc ik its been forever and if you stuck around you deserve an award.

luv ya ;)
-me