On My Own

Chapter 1

I wonder how it Feels to have Parents,

I wonder How it Feels to Be loved by your biolocal parents,

I wonder of my Parents Loved me

I wonder How it Feels to have a Friend.

I wonder how it Feels to have Someone to talk to other then my Lovely foster mom and these little kids I live with,

I wonder if I will ever be able to explore New Jersey,

I wonder how it feels to Have clothes more then 3outfit, that I wear with my same black old converse

I wonder how it feels to have a Boyfriend,

I wonder how it feels to be touched,kissed,Held.

Hi my name is Sadai I don't have a Last name,because my mom didnt want to give me a last name,my mom gave me up when I was 3years old,so I been living in this foster home for 14,I'm 17years old,With no education,well I do try to go to school,but what's the point of going,I don't give fuck about the population of China or the division cells and Algebra, so I Usually Skip school,i do Alot of bad stuff,like steal Stuff,one thing I don't do is Smoking,I don't want to be LIKE my biological Mother,I do Cut my self when I'm stress,right now I'm Suppose to be going to school but watch me here wondering around at the beach in New Jersey,My 18th birthday is Tomorrow,That means i have to Move out of the Foster Home,and be on my Own,So that means ima be Homeless,there isnt no turning back,im never going Back to school,they dont want me there,i have No Education,today I'm go say my goodbye to My ones Family.

im just walking at the Beach,looking all Trashy with my dirty fucked up cloth and some Dirty comboots I found at the dumpster and my Black Dirty Legging some white family donated at my foster Home,I was just walking at the beach it was really quiet,it was literary 10:47 there was only this one family that was here,but I saw them from distance,I walked closer,I was really Hungrly,I barely eat at home,I always say I'm full just so the little ones can be full,every time mamaRusso my foster mom serve us food,we only have like one small Chicken leg and half cup juice,so the little ones there is Denise(Mexican 5years old) Amber(Mexican 4years old) and Toni(Black 5years old) they always Look at me when Im trying to Eat and I Just can't do it,so I always Find away to Give em my food,I tell them to eat it fast so mama Russo won't find out and I tell them not to tell mama Russo or they won't be eating..I'm really Boney,I really need to eat,I'm very thirsty,I saw the family that I saw from distance now I can see them clearly,I looked over at the ocean water,my tongue got dry,my throat got dry,I walked over shore and kneel down,I did it,I drank the water,this wasn't the first time,I looked around and it was clear,I started walking again,I had my Shoulder book bag with me,I got closer to the family they looked happy,they were ligh skinned family,the boys were playing volleyball the girls were just laying on the chairs Looking all Sexy,no homo,

I walked until I Stoped,and gag,I feel the like I wanted to throw up,I looked around and The family attention was on me,I couldn't walk I held my stomach and kneel down and throw up everything I ate this morning which wasnt much,just an Apple and the beach water,I held my Messy Black hair up High,I heard Gasps, I wiped my mouth with my Shirt and Got up straight,I scratched behind my ear,And my arm,it was inching crazy,I looked around and they were staring,I didn't show any emotion,I just kept on walking alway like a hobo I'm about to be on less then 13hours,

I found a Place by the sunset,where I know I can see the perfect view of it at 6Pm,I found my regular Dustie carpet I found and Just sat There,I sat my bookBag down,and just sat there facing the ocean,I don't have phone or anything to tell what time is it,so I just know by the sun,I start thinking,where am I Going to do,for the rest of my Life? But for sure for sure,I know Ima Stay here at the beach the Most,here where IAM and Sleeping tonight,this is my new Home,There was Alot of flying bugs around me,I know I Smell but dang,I haven't shower in like 3months,so maybe that's why I was scratching myself,I get sick Alot,but it's something I handle that,I looked to my Right and saw the family I saw earlier packing THIER stuff and the little girl ran into the Hug beach house,Damn If that's theirs,they all looked at me and smile,but I didn't return,one of the guys stopped and Stared at me for Second, I didn't feel Confertable so I Flip him off,he chuckled and Walked off shaking his head,I didn't find anything Funny,

He Finaly left and the beach was clear,I laid on my back and looked up,I felt my eyes getting heavy,I bet it was 3PM I just napped

I woke up about 3hours later,I rubbed my eyes and I saw the sunset Wich tells me that it was 6pm,I got up,Hid my bookBag behind a Bush of Trees and walked to the foster house,

When I got there,I got big ole Hugs for MamaRusso and my lovely Sis "we missed you" they said I smile, mama Russo came "have you told em?" She asked "no" Toni looked at me "tell us what?" I walked over to the kitchen table, I told them everything and why I had to go,they were crying,I didn't know what to do,for 5hours we were talking,I end up giving Denise and Toni my two outfit,they need it sense they go to school I'm just gonna keep this I'm Wearing,I walked out with them following me but MamaRusso pulled them back they were begging me to stay but I couldn't stay,I cried to on my way on street just walking around it was 12:2 they sang me happy birthday earlier but now I'm on my Own, I walked on my way to the Beach,I need some stuff,I walked into the conor store,I Grabed a Toothpaste and a toothbrush I took off the scan number and Stuck em in my Legging and walked out,they haw water stacks outside the store,Stupid I Grabed one and took off,I got to the beach,the only light that was there it was coming from that one big ole house,only from one of the Rooms,

I walked over to the bushy tree where I hid my bookBag,it wasn't there,I got Pissed that's where I have all my important shit,like ID,Social security,and birth certificate, "Whe-"

I was interrupted "you looking for this?" I heard I turned around I walked over to him and try to snatch my bookBag away but he moved "what's the Magic word?" He asked I glared at him while still walking over to him,I got closer to him and I spit to the side,he looked at me Wierd, "Hand it OVER!" I said through my teeth,he looked scary,I snatched away from him,I got in his Face 2inch from lips to lips "Listen and Listen good,I do NOT want YOU. Near This BOOKBAG or ur LIFE is OVER" I said "is that a threat?" He question,I got even closer now I moved my lips to his ear and talked real Slow "it's a Promise" I said and Took 4step back to my carpet,I turn facing him while I sat down "What are you doing here,anyway?" I asked He looked at me "Wjay about you? I could ask you the same thing" he question "I asked first" I said,he came and sat by me maybe too Close "some kid was gonna run off with it" he said "Aww thank you" I said,well that was nice of him "so..Sadai" he said Looking at me,How He know my name,wait he looked through my Shit "You Nosey U looked through my Syuff!" I said Sounding Shockley "nah the kid that I cought Did she had your ID and oh Hapy birthday" he said "thank you" I said he looked where I was looking at the beach Wave "why aren't you celebrating?" He asked "no reason" I said,he was being Nosey, "can we not talk about it?" I said "Daniel..Daniel Simmons" He held his hand out for me to shake,I shook it "Sadai" I said we smiled for Good minute at Eachother, "DANIEL!" I heard and I saw One of the girls yelling,we both Dunked down, "I gtg" he said I nod "see you later?" He question, "aight" I said he crow on the sand and made his way back home,he got into his room,Wich was the one with the ligh on,he open the window "Goodnight!" He yelled Enough for me to hear,I put my thumb up and he turned off the light.

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