Blessing In Disguise (A ZaDr Collab)

Two Years Earlier

Zim

"Yeah, he's always been kinda weird. Surprised him and that loser Dib haven't become best friends yet. They have a lot in common." Zita muttered to Jessica behind me, like I couldn't hear them or something.

"I have nothing in common with that idiot boy," I snarled under my breath. "He is no more than a sniveling Earthen creature. And I am ZIM!" A few people near me quieted, obviously in appreciation of my great declaration. After a beat of silence, someone snickered and everyone went back to their conversations. I rolled my eyes and continued walking, adjusting the bag on my shoulder.

"Hey! Zim!"

Just ignore him, Dib isn't worth your time... just ignore him...

"Zim! Hey!"

"Don't turn around," I muttered to myself, forcing myself to stay calm and not punch my adversary in the face.

"Zim, can you hear me?"

I growled, finally turning to face the large headed human.

"Rrrrrrr, YES, I can hear you, what has you coming here, human?" I said, pointing a gloved finger in his face.

He gently pushed down my finger, earning him another growl from me, and took a step back.

"Anyway, so I've noticed that you're always wearing those gloves, what's up with that? Do your hands do some weird thing that makes you have to wear them?" He said, his usual threatening tone replaced with a more fascinated one. Rightfully so, I was clearly something to be fascinated at, but I had no doubt it had to be a trick.

I scoffed. "Like I'd tell the likes of you, Dib filth."

He frowned. "Aw, come on! I'm just curious, it would be so cool if you could, like, taste with your hands or something."

"SILENCE!" I shouted, earning another brief quiet from the students before they returned to their conversations. "While Zim may be very amazing, he is very human and normal, therefore he can not taste with his hands... unless humans do. In which case YES! I do taste with my hands. SUCH HAND TASTING SHALL I DOOOOO!"

"Calm down! Besides, normal humans can't taste with their hands. I guess that's just another thing that makes you a freak, isn't it?"

"Oh, 'cause you're one to talk, you filthy, big-headed pig smelly!"

"My head's not big!" Dib cried,exasperated.

"Yeah, keep telling yourself that, worm." I chuckled. My nemesis aimed a hefty blow at my shoulder, which I narrowly avoided.

"What the-?" I began, but was cut off by a punch in the jaw. Its force knocked me to the ground, and I scurried away across the sidewalk, trying to put as much distance between the enraged boy and me. Dib's bespectacled face was twisted like a pretzel in his rage, and I was glad to be away from it.

The rest of the walk home proved uneventful. It wasn't until I got home that I actually relaxed, but this feeling evaporated as I walked in the door.

"I MADE WAFFLES!!!" GIR screeched, bounding into the room as I slammed the door.

Before I could do anything, I felt the earth food come into contact with my face, slowly sliding down and leaving a trail of syrup behind. Throwing the waffle off of my face, I tore off my wig with my other hand.

"GIR! How many times do I have to tell you, do not throw waffles at Zim! Clean up this mess!" I shouted, taking out my contacts.

"Yes sir!" He said, saluting before his crimson eyes turned back to turquoise, then humming happily as he picked up scattered waffles from the floor.

I sighed and threw myself onto the couch, rubbing my jaw.

"Stupid Dib and his stupid stupidity, I AM ZIM!" I yelled. GIR came over to pat my knee during my outburst.

"Aw, it's okay master, one day Mary will be less stupid, and he will love youuuu. Then you two can get married! I'll be an uncle! Hehe!" GIR giggled, then continued to pick up waffles.

I rolled my eyes and crossed my arms, falling back into the couch again.

"Disgusting earth monkey, punching my amazing face..."

"Sir, transmission from the tallests." Interrupted the electronic voice of the computer.

"Eh? The tallests?" I stood up, the tallests never called me! It was about time they gave me more recognition. Though... they could do whatever they wanted, being the tallests. Even if that means ignore me. But they weren't! Because Zim is amazing!

"Yes, the tallests. Should I put them on screen?"

"Yes, immediately!" I said, straightening out my uniform.

The screen of the TV flickered to life, the tallests waiting impatiently as I scrambled to look presentable, painfully aware of the bruise already forming along my jaw.

"My...my tallests! Its..er... nice to see you!" I gulped and stammered, quite out of character for me. I am never nervous, I'm too great to be scared of anything!

"Hello...Zim," the Tallest Purple sighed, looking at his red-clad companion with something like joy. "We need you to report back to The Massive immediately! We have-" here the tallests broke out into a fit of giggles. After recovering their composure, the one dressed in purple continued. "We have another top secret mission for you!" The Tallest Red pulled a party popper and they both waved their hands dramatically.
"A...new...mission?" I repeated, aghast. They nodded enthusiastically back at me. "But what about operation Impending Doom 2?"

"No!" The Tallest Purple cried hastily. "I mean, uh, this is...more important! You can come back to...whatever planet you're on later! First you must do this!" I thought about how far I had come in my plot to conquer Earth. It would be a while before I came back, but, a secret mission? For me? This was an opportunity I couldn't pass up.

"Tell me about this new mission, my tallests." I sighed hesitantly. "I will not let you down, I promise."