Merciless World {Levi X reader}

Chapter 1: The People You Lose Never Really Leave You

I wasn't abandoned, I ran away. Or at least that's what I like to tell myself.

Life isn't all sunshine and rainbows, but I guess if you're reading this you already know that. We, as humans, are simply cavalry that crowd a small area, divided into three sectors by walls Maria, Rose, and Sina. Some believe in the Walls firmly, believe that God himself built them. Not me though. I stopped believing in saviors long ago.

We lived in Wall Rose. I was a good kid, I taught myself everything I know. I had a little sister, a social butterfly, optimistic, beautiful, you name it. She was 7 when it happened. My brother is 6 years younger than me, 4 at the time. He was a stubborn, that boy, even more so than me. Both were too young to know, too young to stop it. I don't blame them. My parents though, that's a different story.

"Stop her! She's getting away, faster dammit!" My cold feet made hard contact with the littered asphalt ground of the alley. Bits of litter pierced my bare soles, causing me to wince.  I pumped my arms, furiously trying to conjure up a mental map of my surroundings. If only I could get far enough away that I could climb to the roofs, possibly scale a building. My heart crashed against my ribcage in irregular rhythms. My eyes began to tear up, I was afraid. I frustratedly pounded on my chest with a fist. C'mon, you can do it, just one more block... I muttered false encouragement to myself, my broken body. Shouts were closing in on me, I propelled my legs faster. "Don't let her escape!" A gruff voice commanded the others into action, propelling them to pick up their speed. I didn't care though. I had to win. It wasn't an option anymore, but a requirement. I wasn't about to lose my life to some scumbags, not after what I'd experienced, not after what I had been through.

I pushed myself further, my legs were swept into a fury, I had no idea I could run this fast. A fork was coming up in front of me. My chance. I slid to the left, kicking up dust and almost falling, then cut close to the brickish wall. I instinctively pressed myself to the flat surface, then dove into an almost empty barrel, making myself as small as possible and sucking in a steep breath. I heard jeers, the clanging of metal gardening-tool weapons, and the thundering of feet.

"Which way'd she go?"

"I don't know."

"Why weren't you watching her, idiot? Split up! Leave no stone unturned!"

That voice sent chills running down my spine. I didn't want to mess with that guy. A heartbeat of feet raced past me, but thankfully, I was travel-size; nobody even considered looking in the barrels.

As my breath caught up with me, my hearbeat was more apparent. I felt like my ribcage was being stoned from inside. Suddenly, the storm would calm and the beats would stop for 3, sometimes 4 seconds on end. Then back to havoc.

I fingered the coin bag wrapped in my fingers. The brown velvet was soft, like the skin of a fruit, the coins jingled ever so slightly. I clutched it to my chest, praying to no one in particular that there would be enough to let me live just a few weeks longer.

Slowly but surely, I climbed out of my hiding spot, cautiously scanning my surroundings. When I deemed the area to be safe for the time, I briskly walked down the narrow street, turning and zig-zagging until I got to my home. No, I thought. House, not home. I didn't have a home anymore. Not on the Surface, not here.

When there isn't anywhere left for you, your home is in your heart.

I quickly located a drainpipe hanging on a nearby house and tested it with my weight. It held, and I hastily climbed it, landing on the roof smoothly. From there I carefully jumped to an adjacent roof: the entrance to my HQ. A trapdoor dropped me into a small attic, and I was finally able to settle in for the evening. Immediately, I went to the cupboard and opened it hopefully. But it was to no avail. I took out the empty bottle and shook it halfheartedly. No, I had run out of pills a week ago. My heartbeat increased rapidly, as a reminder of my failure. I have to get more meds, before I die in this wretched place. They can't kill me this easily.

It was already late; most candles had been extinguished, and there was no light coming from the few shafts in the ceiling. It would have to be tomorrow. The streets weren't safe for a kid like me, and I knew it all too well. Plus, most dealers would be... busy... at this time of night. I slipped off the faded blue jacket shrouding my shoulders, and clumsily folded it next to my makeshift bed. I then wet a rough towel and rubbed it against my body, trying to coax the dirt off my pale skin. I hung it out to dry, then again visited the cupboard, hunting for food. Hmmm... I dejectedly hummed while scanning the empty shelves. Damn, now two errands to run tomorrow. A low breath escaped me, peeved.

I remembered the coin pouch, stashed in the folds of my garments. My fingers gently pulled at the strings, eyes wild with anticipation. I cautiously dumped the money onto the floor, afraid of what I might see. One at a time, I add up the coins.

"10, plus, 5, plus 10..." I sucked in a breath. Shit. Medicine costs 50 coins. I have 15 saved, this would have given me 40. I just need 10 more and I'm safe for the next month. My fist meets the floor with a deep thud. My mind immediately starts thinking of other ways to get coins, ways to steal, work, pickpocket. Anything.

The beating in my chest slows considerably and I rap it hard, trying to stimulate its muscles. I'm not going to live. After everything I've done, everything this world has thrown at me, I'm going to die.

"C'mon [F/N], you first!" You flash a half-smirk at your little brother and then, wordlessly, begin to scale the giant pine tree in front of your house. Your brain isn't even thinking anymore- or maybe it's working so fast you don't realize it- your legs push you up effortlessly while your feet are placed perfectly in in footholds. Your arms and hands are working so fast to lift your body weight that you can barely keep up with them. The branches get thinner and thinner, but you're not overweight, so you test your luck and go a bit higher. You clutch the tree trunk tightly as you signal to your siblings. "Look who made it to the top first, dorks!" You smile and wave happily, before a swift gust of wind sways the tree. Slightly less confident, you begin to climb down. You swing off the last branch and into a front flip, landing on one foot. Your sister looks up at you, a stubborn grin on her face. "You don't have to show off, [F/N]." She jokingly glares at you then giggles lightly.

I miss them...

A tear formed at my eye, threatening to spill over. No! I screamed internally. Nobody comes, nobody cares. Life's not fair. I repeated the phrase over and over again, even though it's already ingrained in my mind. Treat the world as your enemy. A tear slid down  my face as I imagined someone kneeling down to my eye level, telling me this. Shaking me by the shoulders, hugging me, telling me that no matter what, they'll fight with me, they'll be on my side.

But there is no one.

My cheeks turned hot and I furiously wiped the wetness from my eyes. It's not like I care about any of this anyway. If I'm destined to die alone in these filthy streets, so be it. I've always been alone anyway. I set my jaw and narrowed my eyes, putting on a face of determination and melancholy strength, trying to reassure myself more than anything.

I bit my lip defiantly, and sat like that until dawn, afraid that if I went to sleep, I might never awake.

~~~~~~~~~~A/N~~~~~~~~~~

Yo! So this is my second fic. First one didn't get many reads, so I decided to try another idea! Please let me know how it is :) I probably won't continue if nobody comments. I know we all wanted some Levi action in there, but I didn't want to rush the story. Don't worry though- next chapter, promise!

Please comment/favorite :)

xx

Petra