18 years (Mature content) (Complete)

Chapter 10

"You ready?" He asked.

I nodded, "I think so."

David nodded and took got out of the car. He walked around to my side and helped me out. He pushed the door closed behind me before taking my hand and guiding me along the rows to whom I was here to see. I held the dozen roses in my hand. Yet again another symbol of David's generosity. I couldn't face her without him. To be honest I wouldn't be here without him.

"We don't have to go today, you know!" David reminded me, "We could just go out for dinner."

I shook my head, "No it has to be today!"

"Ok."

The seventh one in from almost the middle row is where we stood. I placed the roses leaning against the headstone. It was a tiny square shaped one that I promised wouldn't be her permanent one but I didn't have the money to change it right now. All I could have engraved on it was her name.

"Do you need a minute?" David asked.

I gripped his hand tighter, "Please stay!"

"I will if you need me to!" He promised.

I took in a breath, "Hey mum....I know it's been a long time but I've....since....you see...."

"It's my fault Miss Reeds," David said, "I've been keeping her busy, shall we say."

I felt a tear roll down my cheek. David wrapped his arms around me. I leaned onto his shoulder. He passed me a tissue which I accepted with a tearful laugh. I felt crazy for talking to a grave as I wasn't religious and I didn't believe in spirits, I guess I just like the idea of keeping them alive in my head.

"Mum this is David Ride," I said, "The irony huh? I forgot to tell him that at the time you thought he was a right looker. That was the only parents evening we went to together. That was when you were getting better."

"Damn! Your mum thought I was a looker?" David asked, "I feel like Tom Jones does when he gets underwear thrown at him."

I laughed tearfully, "Yeah this is the guy I'm sleeping with! I think I'm the mature one in this relationship! Don't worry it's mostly safe sex, not that you ever really..."

I couldn't say she didn't care. To be honest she kind of didn't. Most of my memories of her are either ones of her being passed out or doing drugs with my dad or my dad hitting her. There were only a few moments when she was really my mum. When she was off drug cloud. She took me to the zoo once and the natural history museum. Or when I got a hair cut or the time she brought me a teddy bear. But those memories were slipping away. It felt to morbid to say that now though.

"I don't hate you mum," I said finally, "I thought I did but I don't! I've wanted to so much over the years but I can't. You're still my mum and when you were you I know that you cared."

When I was sixteen and had moved out of David's place, I lived with my Aunt Nova. She told me about how in the beginning my mum had desperately tried to get out of her situation when she was pregnant with me. She even went to night school. When I was born she called me her little miracle as I was the reason she was sober. Through out her pregnancy she never touched anything and she didn't feel the need to take drugs anymore. My father then ruined everything.

I felt David hold me tighter. He knew what I knew. My heart didn't know what to feel in that moment. All I felt was a dark emotional emptiness. Like I was standing on the edge of the abyss. David's hand slipped into mine.

"Happy birthday mum."

****

"And like a twat Tom hit himself in the ballocks!" David laughed.

"Oh my god!" I cried, "Tell me you filmed it!"

"Already on Facebook!" He replied.

David showed me his phone in which his co-worker was messing around doing weighted squats. He was holding a twenty five kilogram weight, the circular ones used in weightlifting. He did a few reps and got cocky and his reward was a swift knock to the cock. David's howls of laughter filled the microphone. I cupped my mouth, crying in laughter.

"He's such a fucktard!" I breathed.

"God you're tell me!" David laughed.

"What dick gets filmed getting his nuts smashed?" I said.

David slowly stuck his hand up like a child owning up to breaking something in class. I stared at him wide eyed in disbelief.

"No fucking way!" I scoffed.

"That's what you get for showing off in front of a girl!" He replied, "Flipped my skateboard right into my crotch."

"You stupid ass!" I laughed, "Was it worth it?"

"Well she didn't kiss it better so no..." David laughed, "Jesus Christ. Penelope Cornish was her name."

"And when was this?" I asked, trying to seem possessive.

"Oh last week!" He joked.

I rolled my eyes.

"Ok fine! You got me," David laughed, "This was like when I was fifteen or sixteen."

"I didn't know they had skateboard in the 1960s!" I joked.

"Hey! I'm not that old!" David said, mock hurt, "And technically yes they would of because skateboards were invented in the late 1940s to early 50s!"

"I call bullshit!" I replied.

"Look it up!" David replied, "It was invented by surfers to, quote unquote, surf on land."

I looked it up, "All right you clever fucker!"

I felt all of my earlier grief slip away. David and I sat in our local pub with steak, chips and a pint of Guinness each. He had offered to take me somewhere posher but I felt like a pub better suited my mood. Almost immediately I felt better as David did everything he could to take my mind off the outing we had taken this morning.

"Well that's one thing I'd hoped I'd be doing right now," David said.

"What?" I asked.

"Raising a kid," David shrugged, "Teaching them how to ride a bike or skateboard. Reading bedtime stories..."

"So if I got pregnant you would be happy about it?" I asked.

"If you got pregnant I couldn't tell you how happy I'd be," He replied, "A family has always appealed to me.... And can I just say I don't expect anything now!" He added hastily.

I laughed, "I know but if I got pregnant you wouldn't just leave?"

He sat forward and looked me dead in the eye, "The day I abandon my child knowingly is the day I lose myself and my life."

I nodded, "Just checking."

"Oh my god are you....?"

"No no no!" I cried, "But if I did in the future I could never have an abortion so I'm just checking that you won't freak and run."

He snorted, "Never!"

We sat there in silence a few moments longer. I didn't know what to make of our conversation. I had never thought about raising a child before. Probably because I still am a child. The silence was broken when David suggested we head home. He held out my jacket for me which I shrugged on before he kissed my neck. I slipped my hand into his as we walked out the pub and headed home.

"Thank you for today!" I said.

"Don't mention it!" David smiled, "It was still less painful that meeting my family."

I laughed, "And at least this time we got alcohol out of it!"

As if on cue, I staggered. Ok maybe we had had more than one pint of Guinness. David's eyes rolled before he swept me off my feet and carried me bridle style. He quickly stole a kiss from my lips as he did.

"Not sure if that's a good thing or bad thing?" David laughed.

I kissed him, "Good thing for me!"

He rolled his eyes, "Well it would be now."