"Come on mate. It's almost three in the morning. She's not waking up. Come back to the hotel and get some sleep." I heard Louis' tired voice murmur as my eyes slowly drifted open.
I looked around the white tiled room as I drifted my hands along the scratchy blanket that had been laid across me.
"I'm not leaving. You can go ahead, I'll just sleep here," Niall's voice drowned in defiance. I wanted to open my mouth, but the weakness that had invaded my body stole my voice and left me aching. So I stared up at Niall until he turned from Louis who had left the room to me. "Summer!" His eyes widened as he reached his hand out to grip my arm, but I pulled it away in fear and discomfort.
All I could remember was Niall denying that he had anything to do with me. I watched his eyes narrow in confusion when I pulled my arm away from him, turning up my back like a growing wall.
"Who are you?" I said, more as a rhetorical question than anything. The boyfriend I had would've never left me like that. But Niall took it is a literal question and it was then that I had the idea.
"What do you mean? I'm Niall. I'm your boyfriend," He stuttered in shock at why I would even ask such a question. I almost laughed at his response and how literally he had taken my question, but instead I decided to go along. Maybe it made my eligible for the worst girlfriend in the world award, but I figured that going along with it would make him realize how it made me feel when he totally dismissed me, even if there were cameras and reporters around.
"I don't have a boyfriend," I said, making my eyebrows narrow in as I tried my best not to smirk.
"Y-you don't remember me?" he stuttered as his panicked eyes darted around the room. I shook my head slowly as his jaw fell open and his hands started to shake. "B-but," he stopped to think for a minute before he shouted in my face, "Who was your first kiss?" he drilled me as if that would clear things up.
"I've never had my first kiss," I mumbled, letting my voice waver.
"Yes you have!" He screamed, lunging toward my face as I continued to pull back, "I was your first kiss!" I just sat there looking at him as if I was about to burst into tears before he stood up, patted my arm and said, "Wait here." ... As if I was going to get up and leave. As I lay in the brick hard hospital bed, letting my eyes wander the uniformed room, I felt the ache in my leg return. I tried to make the pain go away by thinking about how I was going to tell Niall that I was just joking with him. Maybe I would jump out of my hospital bed and fling my arms around him and tell him that I could never forget him in a million years. But then I thought that I couldn't do that if anyone came back with him. I hated not being able to be myself around him. I hated hiding. I wasn't sure what was worse, being in a relationship with Niall that I wasn't allowed to show, or not being in a relationship with Niall at all. I knew that he didn't want to hide me away as if he was ashamed of me and I knew that that was the last thing in the world that I wanted. I also knew that the chances of our secret relationship lasting on those terms were slim to none.
My mom always said, "Sometimes love isn't enough. You have to make a decision that you're going to stick it out." I just couldn't see how Niall would choose to stick it out with me if we couldn't even be seen walking down the street together. It was then that I had my second idea. What if I kept pretending that I had lost my memory of Niall in the accident? What if I just dismissed him. Sure, it would be hard for Niall at first, but it would be easier for him to get over me if he knew that he didn't have a choice. And sure, it would be heart breaking for me to do, because I loved him, but I had experienced loss before. I could do it if it was what was best for Niall. If it wasn't going to last to begin with, breaking up this way would be easiest.
I looked up as Niall followed a man who was dressed in a long white coat, looking at the ground, deep in thought, as if he was reading something that was printed on the tiled floor.
"So what you're saying is that she doesn't remember you?" the man whom I'm assuming was a doctor said.
"Yes!" Niall insisted, before he pleadingly glanced over at me.
"Hey Niall you forgot your- Summer! You're awake!" Louis came busting back into the room.
"Hey Lou," I gave him a meek smile. "Wait, you remember Louis?" Niall ask enviously as Louis came bounding over to me to give me a hug, causing my leg to move which sent surging pain running through it.
"Why does my leg hurt so bad?" I asked the doctor, as I looked down at the blue gown I was wearing.
"You broke it" the doctor informed me, "And you're lucky that it was only one break and nothing else."
"Oh," I mumbled. "Do you know what happened to you?" the doctor asked, walking to the foot of my bed. "Yeah, I was about to cross street to get away from a pap when I got hit by a car," I clearly said.
"Do you remember waking up on the road?" Niall shivered as if he was reminiscing the moment he peered over my lifeless body, pleading for me to stay with him.
"Yes," I murmured, looking down at my hands that were rubbing the scratchy blanket. "I woke up and it was all a blur and then everything went black." I tried so hard not to look up at Niall because I knew that if I saw his face I would most likely break, but I couldn't help myself and for a nanosecond I looked up at his face that dropped with devastation.
"When is your birthday?" the doctor asked.
"September fifth, 1994," I said almost defiantly.
"What is your profession?"
"I'm a musician, opening for One Direction."
"Who are the members of One Direction?" Niall piped up. I took a shallow breath before I said,
"Harry, Louis, Zayn and Liam."
"And Niall! I'm the fifth member of One Direction! I'm your boyfriend! I was the one that took you all around the world and did all the things on your bucket list! I was the one that was right beside you when you woke up after the crash! And I... I," he stopped his shouting to press his huge hands across his eyes that were spewing out tears as my jaw gaped, trying to hold in my own tears. With every word he just ripped out more and more of my heart that I didn't even know existed and as if he had ripped out the last bit, there would just be more. "And I love you." I looked across at the three men that stood around my bed in helplessness.
"Do you know this man? Is he your boyfriend?" the doctor dryly asked.
"No," I choked as my voice wavered and Niall's gaze fell from me to the ground. It took everything in me to keep the tears from spilling out as Niall's splotchy red face slightly nodded and tears slowly trickled down his cheeks before he pushed them away with the back of his hand. I clenched the blanket almost as hard as I grasped Niall's hand earlier that morning when I laid on the road to keep my emotions stable. It was then that he gave me one last unforgiving glance and turned to leave as Louis followed. I shot a terrified glance at the doctor before I asked, "Why is he so upset?"
"I know this is all very traumatic," the doctor said as he turned to watch the two boys leave, "But try not to worry. He's going to be fine. He's just worried about you. We're going to run some tests on you tomorrow, but for now, just get some sleep."
"Will they come back?" I quickly asked without thinking through my words. "I don't know, but I have a feeling they will," the doctor said with a gentle smile.
I tried to smile in response, but failed miserably. But as soon as the door close behind him, my sobs came flooding to my eyes and I curled up in the hard hospital bed. I wasn't sure if I was going to be able to do this after all. I had never seen Niall cry like that before. And knowing that I was the cause of it made it a million times worse. I pressed my face as hard as I could into the pillow as the relentless tears continued to soak the material, wishing that I was pushing my face into Niall's shoulder instead.
