Chasing Yesterday

4

"A heartbreak is a blessing from God. It's just his way of letting you realize He saved you from the wrong one."

-Unknown

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Tuesday, October 5th

"Nice job, girls. The timing is still off in some places so be sure to watch and keep count," Marilyn instructs, her voice strict yet not harsh. She walks to the stereo and stops the music before picking up her binder of music, flipping through it to find what she is looking for.

"I want to move on to the solos. Now, today instead of having everyone else go into the other studio while I work with you each individually, I want everyone to stay and give constructive criticism. Remember, constructive criticism. Not insults or negativity. We will do this again on Thursday to see if you fixed the problems that will be pointed out to you. It'll help you get used to being in front of an audience, as well, for those of you that haven't competed. So we'll start with," She pauses, taking out a CD from the binder, and reads the name off of it. "Rachel."

Rachel walks to the side to start and the rest of us go to the front of the room and sit on the floor. Rachel's green eyes are filled with nervousness which was only natural seeing as Rachel is one of the girls that has never performed as a solo in front of an audience. As the music starts, I think that the dance will be something similar to the group dance—ballet or lyrical—based on the music itself. However, I am almost immediately proven wrong.

The dance is similar to ballet in the way of how graceful and elegant it appears, but it is an acro dance. Something I have never seen Rachel do before. And damn is she good at it.

It is like she had no bones. She bends and twists and flips all around the room, staying in almost perfect time with the music. It is clear that acro is her forte, despite the fact that she did mess up a few steps.

When the dance is over, I am left almost completely speechless.

"Criticism, anyone?" Marilyn asks. A few girls raise their hands, but I keep my own hand down. It isn't that I think she did perfect. I know she didn't because I saw some mistakes, but I thought it was done amazingly well for someone that isn't used to solo performances. It was also done in a genre that we don't see often here.

"Amelia?" I turn my head up to see that Marilyn calling me. I arch a brow as reply.

"Did you have any corrections to give Rachel?" She asks, gesturing to Rachel who is shaking with anticipation of what I have to say. Which is nothing.

"No," I answer. Both Marilyn's and Rachel's brows furrow at my response, but neither say anything. I know they want to comment on it, but now doesn't seem like an appropriate time for that.

Rachel then sits with the rest of us and the next girl is called up. The class continues in a similar fashion. Marilyn calls girl after girl up. As the number of people left to go dwindles down, it becomes apparent that I am going to be the last one to perform my solo.

When the girl before me finishes, I stand, wanting to get it over with as quickly as possible. When the music starts, I begin. I stay in perfect time with the music and don't fumble over any of my turns or wobble on my extensions. Yet something feels almost wrong.

When the music ends, I stop and face my peers, ready to handle anything they had to say about my performance. One at a time, they each tell me what I had done wrong, but Rachel's response is completely different from the rest.

"You seemed tight and very sharp with your movements. It was done with perfect technique and everything was spot on, but there wasn't any emotion behind it which is probably why you appeared so uniform. You weren't telling the story. Like you were shutting out the feeling and just going through the motions."