We called her mute {stuart twombly}.

chapter 4

It was the next day and I was sitting on my dorm bed. I was thinking about how to end it....My life.

I think we can all agree that my life just isn't right. Everyone judges me. Calls me names. Things like that. 

I get up from my bed and walk to a desk that is placed right in the corner of my dorm. It has something I haven't used in years. Something that will never judge me or call me names. It will only hurt me in one way and its not "their" fault. I don't really know who's fault it really is. I guess Its mine. Its always my fault. I don't blame anyone but me. I felt that way ever since my dad and his scene. I open it and I see it. My only friend. The only one that will help me with all of this. He also has a friend next to him. Just a bigger version. That's the only I will use second. I grab the little one and walk to the front door. I know I can lock it. I just don't want anyone. I mean anyone. Doing the little cliche story where a someone some how gets the door opened right when the person is about to do it. I slid down the wall.  

"This one is for my messed up dad" I say while slicing a cut onto my arm. 

I wince in pain. 

"This one is for my messed up "group" at google" 

I hold in my tears.

"This one is for me not ever going to get into google" 

" This one is for my ugly voice and body and..j-j-j-just...EVERY FUCKED UP THING THAT HAS HAPPENED TO ME!!!"

I cut a very deep one into my very upper thigh. I scream with pain.

I walk up to my bed not even bothering to clean anything up. I lay down. I throw the blade across the room. My vision slowly dies down. Next thing I knew it I was out like a light bulb.