love, emma | j.brooks

five

HE SAT ON TOP of his car, with his hands folded under his head, the stars surrounding the sky above. Jai felt a wave of nostalgia as he sat, looking at the different twinkling stars, each one brighter than the other. He immediately spotted the Hercules constellation, remembering the exact location it would be at this time of year. Yet, as he sat, he felt the tugging feeling of remembering being here but not the actual memory. Maybe it was because of the last letter, or maybe it was just his brain trying to recover what was lost.

He'd been feeling this pull on his brain for a while. He knew it was the memories trying to surface all at once, but he couldn't help but wonder how many of those memories he wanted to keep. If all of them are worth remembering. The accident seemed like a serious one, and maybe remembering the events that lead up to it weren't worth the heartache again.

He shook those thoughts away quickly. He needed to know what happened to him. If he didn't, then he would be living obliviously, and he hated not knowing what could have possibly happened to him.

A part of Jai also wanted to remember the girl that was writing to him. She was yet to sign her name on any letter, or have a return address on the envelope. He wanted to remember the face that was part of all these memories written to him. Yet, sadly, that face was a blur to him. If he was able to write back, somehow, maybe he could ask to meet with her once again, or maybe a picture. Either way, this girl was constantly bombarding his mind in snippets of riddles and confusion.

-•-

Jai,

Reclusive was not a word I would've chosen to describe you the first time we met. I had thought that you were as open as it could get. I wanted to believe you were one person who would open to the people he loved. To whom he trusted.

I didn't realize that the more you loved and trusted someone, the more you would push yourself away.

-•-

It was early morning and Emma was sat in her living room in the darkness. The sun was beginning to creep up from behind the mountains and the light slowly slivering through the part in her curtains. A steaming mug of tea was nestled between her fingers as the steam swirled up and evaporated into the air. Emma enjoyed this part of waking up early. The sun slowly coming through her window, the cup of tea that was that much sweeter. She loved the silent tranquil of the world outside. Everyone seemed only to focus on living through life so quickly, that they often don't realise that the small things, such as the early morning, are one of the most pleasurable moments life could offer.

As Emma sat on her couch in front of the large window in her flat, she thought about one beautiful thing life had offered her. Emma had been thinking about the one boy who seemed to constantly bombard her thoughts. She had just gotten in last night at midnight, she was so flushed and exhausted from the lake and the star gazing, and the gazing into the beautiful boys' eyes, Emma had crashed immediately after her back hit her mattress. Nevertheless, that didn't stop her subconscious in thinking about Jai in forms of floating dreams.

Emma didn't know why, but she felt a strong pull towards Jai. As if they weren't ever meant to be just friends, no, this pull was much stronger than she could ever anticipate for. She decided that she would keep quiet about these thoughts to Jai for now, because she didn't know if he felt the same. He didn't seem to act anything but friendly towards her, so she would do what she does best; bury her feelings until they were bits of dust. She didn't mind this at all, because having Jai enjoy her company was enough for her.

She was suddenly ripped away from her thoughts when she heard a strong rapping of knuckles at her door. Confused, since it was only six in the morning, Emma cautiously stood up tugging a blanket over shoulders and walking towards the door. Looking through the peephole she saw the one boy that had been plaguing her mind. Quickly throwing open the door, she saw Jai standing in front of her in flannel pajama pants, barefoot and in a t-shirt. Emma still stood, shocked that Jai had come all the way to her flat in the almost freezing weather. The worst part of it all, was Jai's tear streaked face.

"Jai?" Emma asked softly, taking a cautious step towards him. His entire body was shaking, and Emma had no clue why. She quickly inspected his exterior and saw no signs of physical pain, but when Emma looked into Jai's eyes it was all she needed before she knew. Jai was completely torn inside.

"I don't really know why I'm here," he started, his voice hoarse. "actually, fuck, I do know why I'm here. But, I just-,"

"It's okay," Emma said, stepping away from the door and letting Jai inside the warmth of her home. His bare feet padded onto the cold wooden floor and Emma wished she could offer him something other than her bunny slippers.

Emma led the way to the couch and motioned for Jai to sit while she went to grab him a blanket and a mug of tea. Her mind was racing with theories as to what happened to the boy she knew who was full of life. Now, as she handed him the blanket, she noticed that he was devoid of any light that he usually carries.

Emma wandered into the kitchen and grabbed the nearest mug she could find. She tried to rush through her actions so she could quickly go see the boy who sat heartbreakingly sad on her couch. She finally poured the mug and walked back to the couch. Jai nodded his thanks as Emma sat the mug infront of him. She sat down next to Jai, her own blanket now back around her shoulders and shielding her from the cold of the early morning. Nothing was said for the first few minutes as Jai sipped his tea and Emma watched his movements. She didn't want to push Jai into telling her what was wrong but the curiosity and worry was eating her alive.

Before she could ask anything, however, Jai put his mug down and turned towards her. His shaking had subsided and the tear tracks had dried on his cheeks, but when Emma made eye contact with him, the same battle of emotions were present.

"Emma," Jai had said.

"Jai,"

"I need to ask you something," this sparked Emma's interest even more, and she nodded for Jai to continue. He seemed nervous, wringing his fingers together and licking his lips. "Can I stay here for awhile? Maybe a day or two? Only if it isn't a bother." Jai said quickly his eyes wide and a slight look of panic on his face. Emma provided him one of her most heart warming smiles, partly because she wanted Jai to feel better and she also found it amusing how nervous he was.

"Of course," Emma said and Jai's posture physically relaxed. "But can I ask why?"

The second the question left her lips Emma regretted asking. She could see Jai build his walls higher, keeping her on the outside. After last night, Emma thought she and Jai had become closer, but now she realized he had never been more of a stranger.

"Just, it's complicated." He sighed. Emma nodded, and watched as Jai stood up, shedding the blankets off of his shoulders. Emma could see he was exhausted, so she stood as well and directed him towards her guest bedroom. He walked in, and Emma stood at the door frame and watched him admire the medium-sized room.

Jai turned around and looked at Emma once more with those warm hazel eyes. The light was starting to shine once more and Emma could feel her heart warm just a little. "Thanks," he said softly. Emma smiled at him for the last time and left Jai to settle in.

Emma didn't like to pry, but when she turned to look at Jai once more, she saw his head in his hands and his body shake with quiet sobs. At that moment, Emma made it her mission to get rid of whatever made Jai feel this way.

the plot is FINALLY picking up !!!!!!!

HEY HERES SOMETHING COOL I POSTED A JAMES YAMMOUNI STORY CALLED FINDING YOU AND I WOULD LOVE IT IF YOU CHECKED IT OUT!!!!