If You Loved Me, Why'd You Leave Me?

Chapter 10

It had been a panic attack, nothing else, but the strain on my heart had worsened and I was now sat in a meeting room next to my mum, facing three soft-eyed doctors. I was hunched over slightly, feeling sick and scared, as they talked to mum about my condition. I already knew everything though, so I didn't bother listening, but then the older doctor spoke my head snapped up and I glared at him.

"There is no way I'm going to a Hospice." I told him straight, folding my arms across my chest.

"It would be easier -"

"I don't care. I'd rather die happy instead of lonely, thank you."

"You won't be lonely -"

"Doctor," Mum placed her hands on the table and pushed her chair back. "I thank you for the suggestion, but Dan doesn't want to go to a Hospice. If he doesn't want to then he doesn't have to." She stood up and I followed sheepishly. I hadn't expected her to stand up for me, but at least I knew a part of her still loved her son.

"Yes, ma'am." The female doctor nodded and that signalled the end of the conversation. We left, and as we sat silently in the car I comtemplated on whether or not to call Phil. He probably thought I was dead, or at least had no clue on what had happened to me. I had to tell him I was fine - that it was just a panic attack.

"Danny, Phil's grandma called me." Mum said suddenly and I turned my head to look at her in confusion. "She said Phil... well, he's having a hard time, thinking you were dead and all. I think you should go see him."

"I was thinking about calling him when I got home." I said quietly, wondering how bad he was. It wasn't like Phil to be as distraught as he sounded; his grandma barely knew my mum. "Or should I arrange to meet him somewhere?"

"I'll pick him up on the way." Mum nodded and I fished out my phone. Instead of calling him (I didn't want to have the conversation in front of my mum) I text him asking if he could meet me at the Costa around the corner. His reply came soon after, telling me he could and that he'd meet me there.

"Just drop me off," I told mum, pocketing my phone with shaking hands. "Phil said he'd meet me there."

***

The coffee cup was warm in my hands as I watched Phil walk past the window, head down and hands shoved in the pockets of what seemed to be a dirty trench coat. I had never seen him in one of those before, but, oddly, he suited it, and I almost wished he hadn't taken it off as soon as he stepped through the door. He shook his head like a dog, and water flew off his hair despite the fact that it had not been raining. I sat up straight in my seat, the cup to my lips and coffee flowing down my throat smoothly. Phil looked around the place quickly before walking up to the counter and talking to the girl cleaning the counter with a wet cloth. She smiled warmly at him and he smiled back before taking her hand and kissing it softly. I felt sickness spread in my stomach as they chatted like a couple and kissed once or twice. And then, finally, he spotted me watching them and his whole face lit up even more than it had been, before he blushed deeply and turned away from the girl who cast a glance at me.

Phil ran across the room, arms open, mouthing my name in disbelief. I let myself melt into his hug, unaware of how much I had missed him. He smelled of mints and deodorant, and that musty smell of his bedroom that I had grown to love. His touch sent my heart racing in my chest and sparks traveling through my veins. I buried my face into his neck, not caring that his 'girlfriend' was watching us jealously and a lot of people were staring at the two boys holding onto each other as if nothing could separate them. All worries had vanished, and I didn't care whether I died or not anymore, because at least I had Phil; my best friend, my world. What could I say about Phil? He was the type of person I had been searching for all my life; he's loyal, funny, clever, supporting and much more - he's been there through thick and thing for me and for that I can express my gratitude enough.