Trying to calm down,I just open my dad’s car and take a seat.I buckle my safety belt and remain silent.I look Amy’s face through the rear mirror .She was even nervous than me .I was expecting my dad will ask me anything he saw just now but even he was quiet.A horrifying moment of my life because of Ron.I swear this is the worst feeling ever .I imagine all kind of scary things and drama will happen but I had made up my mind ,no matter what dad will scold or tell me I am not going to give up Ron for anyone.Once I reach home but as soon as we reach home dad was still calm.I can just see he is disappointed look and it hurts me.
I know my dad dream higher about me.He always tell me to study hard and focus in studies and his only dream is to see me as a university graduate.He wanted to send me to Australia so badly because his sister is over there to take care of me.Last time ,he was keep on hoping that my brother will study well and go to United kingdom for his further studies but since his grade isn’t good enough ,he was not accepted for any scholarship.
Calvin spend most of his time in soccer match and practice .He is a passionate soccer lover and he had no interest in studies.My dad was disappointed because of him ,but it was my Mom who was there for Calvin.She motivate him and tried to console my dad and they spend all the savings to send him to local well known university for UK degree transfer program .Today Calvin is a holder of BBA honours from University of London bussiness school and he is earning quite good income.
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I and Amy just walked upstairs and took our shower and get ready.I had no mood to eat but then I really want to tell my dad that it is not he will be probably thinking and the only chance I can speak out is during dinner time.Out of confusion ,I just walk downstairs with a gloomy face.
“ What happened to you both? Why dad and daughter isn’t talking to each other?” My mom asked looking at my face and my dad face .
“Hmm nothing “ I told her.
I just eat a little and then I just went back to my room to sleep.May be I hurt dad’s feeling and that’s the reason he isn’t talking to me.I took blame for everything happening around me.I hurt Ron ! I hurt my dad.I don’t deserve to be loved.
“Shirley…” my dad called out my name in a lovely voice walking into my room.
“Papa! Yes..” I replied wondering what he gonna tell me.It was a little scary but at least he isn’t mad with me.
“Get ready, I want to bring you somewhere” he said and smiled.
“Owh-okey”I replied blurly.
Somewhere?Okay now it is even scary.God please take control of everything.
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I just remain silently in my dad’s car and I was looking around where is my dad’s bringing me to.Finally, he stop his car at a restaurant by a sea shore and it was a cold night .The view was so loving with moonlight and my dad just ordered drinks.
“Dad it is not like what you are thinking..” I started to talk to him.
“How you know what I am thinking about “ he asked me smiling at me .
“I know usually all the parents will think ridiculously when they saw …” I just struggling for words but I really want to explain it to him so badly.
“Look here Shirley,I know about you after all you are my daughter .Dad hope he is just your friend .It is common to have problem with friends but don’t let that make you slip away from your studies.I am sure you are not going to disappoint me like Calvin.Don’t you?” He asked me hopefully expecting me to tell something good.
I was taken back when he told me like that.If he tell me in a harsh way for sure I will be defending Ron but how can I destroy my dad’s hope? He is being so nice to me? I wish I rather die instead of going through all these but….heaven is playing a cruel joke on me.I need both of them and of course Ron more than a friend….
Holding my tears and fake a smile I said” O f course not papa,I love you more .Don’t worry you I will make sure I achieve my goal and make you proud of me” .I said with a big cheeky smile hiding all my pain.
“That’s my girl “ my dad said pinched my cheek with a big smile.
I was trying hard to control my tears when he smiled.As long my dad is happy ,then I am willing to do anything for him.He had gone through everything since young.He lost his parents when he was 19, he work hard to earn money while studying .He work over time to pay his tuition and examination fees sometimes he will have a sleepless night but he studied hard and get a scholarship to further his studies.Aunt Jules took care of him and supported him and maybe she was the reason for my dad’s achievement and of course my mom who stand there with my dad through thick and thin.That’s why he always emphasize the important of education.
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Once I went back home,I saw Amy was already slept off and Calvin was still awake so I walked in his room.
“Where are you and dad went?” he asked me .
I just leaned on his shoulder so weakly and burst into tears.I told him everything that happened today while sobbing hard.
“Look here Shirley, Ron might be a good guy but I want you to study well first like how dad said and trust me once you did well in exams and enter university ,I will talk to dad about you and Ron.I promise I will unite you and him together.”He said looking into my eyes and clasping my hand .
I felt better after talking to him and may be yeah I should concentrate in my studies first.If I and Ron were meant to be more than friends, time will unite us together. I wipe away my tears and went to sleep.The whole night,I could not sleep properly so I sat on my study desk and switch on the desk lamp.
I wrote Ron a letter because I know I can’t tell him if I see his eyes..that will kill me so letter will do.
Dear Ron,
I am really sorry for hurting you and I know it's my fault for never trust you.
I don't deserve you .I just want to tell you that no one had made me feel special like you did.I smiled for no reason and cried for thousand reasons.Trust me Ron ,you are the only person who make me laugh out loud and make me cry silenlty in my heart.You can make me smile even my eyes are already in tears.I thank God for giving me an angel who light up my world but.....I guess we can't be more than a FRIEND and the reason is better left unexplain.
I just hope you will find your MISS.RIGHT and I am not the girl you will love.I am heart breaker and evil at times :( I wish you all the best for your future.
Love your FRIEND;
Shirley
Once I put my pen down,I burst into tears ...that was really heart breaking .It is hard to accept it when who meant your world can just be your F-R-I-E-N-D.I just pray to God if we were meant to be together, we will unite again...and that's what I can wish for.
