you want to trust him
but can you?
maybe?
but you're afraid
you're afraid of him
why?
if its not his past then why?
is it cause he seems distant?
or is it cause of your past
he says he won't hurt you
but that doesn't mean anything to you
everyone said that before hurting you
thats why you don't believe that right?
but why afraid of him?
stop comparing him to everyone else
you're afraid of him
you're afraid to trust him
maybe cause your afraid that once he has your trust he'll hurt you
but thats not really why your afraid of him right?
maybe its cause hes hard to understand
cause you can't figure out whats going through his mind
you're afraid cause you can't understand him
you wish he didn't seem so distant
but that shouldn't matter
right?
its not like telling him that will change anything
so why bother
he'll never understand why you're afraid of him
but neither do you
thats a lie
you know why
but you're afraid to tell him
you're afraid to let him in
you're afraid of falling in love with him
you know what else you're afraid of?
you're afraid of telling him how you feel
you're afraid of telling him what you're really thinking
you're afraid to be yourself with him
you don't want to bother him
so you lie, sometimes
you hide how you feel
sometimes you say how you feel
but regret it right after
cause you feel like your annoying him with your problems
you never say what you're thinking
cause you're afraid he'll get mad
you remember the last time he was mad
and so you say what you think won't get him mad
you never liked it when people were mad at you
you would always cry when someone was mad at you or yelled at you
thats why
its not that you can't trust him
but that you are afraid of getting close
cause you know he'll never like someone like you
so you stop yourself from trusting him
cause if you don't trust him you can't get any closer
but maybe its also cause hes hard to understand
