Forced (1st book in The Forced Series)

Chapter Fifteen *REVISED*

Chapter Fifteen

Van's eyebrows crinkled as he tried to focus on his line of thoughts. Hazel had stopped talking minutes ago and neither of them had made any effort to continue the conversation. Then again, if he were not so baffled by everything she had said he would not be able to even remember what they were talking about. He was that far beyond being sober. Somehow as the evening had progressed between the food, the harrowing conversation and the hotel provided wine, they had lost track of how many drinks they had had.

"So..." he set down the celery stick he was swirling in his hand, "You want to have nothing, absolutely nothing to do with me? No sex? No children? No hangin' out?" Van slurred, "And no sex?"

Van goth shook his head disbelievingly and got up, going over to Hazel to get the bottle of wine that had arrived with their food. The bottle from the car was already discarded of and they had already helped themselves to the harder liquor from the wet bar in the suite. He threw himself back onto the love seat he had been sitting on.

Hazel nodded, getting up to take the bottle back from him. She tripped over her abandoned heels, and she landed awkwardly in the space between Van and the arm of the love seat. The bottle dropped to the floor and remained their forgotten when Van twisted to stop her from toppling over the side of the coach.

Frozen, he stared at her flushed face. She let out a giggle that sent his heart rate sky high then gazed up at him, seeming to only just realize how close they were. When their eyes met he touched his lips to Hazel's cheek. The kiss slowly moved to her luscious lips which, against her better judgment, reacted greedily. It had been three years since she'd allowed herself to be close to anyone in any sense of the word. And so she kissed him.

The kiss transitioned from hesitant, to greedy, to raw desire. At some point Van had positioned himself above her so she was sandwiched between him and the cushions. But it was not enough. They stood and stumbled back to the bed in a flurry of discorded clothing and frustrated groans.

Once Hazel fell back onto the bed gloriously nude Van wasted no time in metaphorically worshipping her curvy body. He was in awe of each freckle and indenture. And Hazel did nothing short of the same. She was mesmerized by his sturdy frame and her pure curiosity about the man she had just married.

*forced*

A ray of light streamed into the room, hitting Van's eyes despite the heavy drapes. He readjusted himself, turning to face the plush warmth next to him. His eyes popped open and widened at the sight of Hazel with her lips parted and arm on his chest. She looked serene, which was an word he had not thought to associate with her. Hazel's hair curled around her face and shimmered bright red in the sunlight. He watched her face for quite a while before deciding she wouldn't like waking up beside him. So Van goth slipped out of the bed and left the room, going to the sitting area in sweats.

Sex with Hazel had blown his mind. She was everything he had imagined; sweet femininity. Images flashed across his mind as he sat waiting for her to come to terms with what had happened. Because he now knew enough to know that she was not playing hard to get.

And what had happened was a mistake. He did not regret it, but she would.

Eventually Van heard her moving about in the other room. Then she appeared at the door with the sheets clutched in her hands to keep them around her. Her eyes looked red as if she'd cried. Van stood, taking a step towards her but she moved back.

"What we did last night was a terrible mistake. It shouldn't have happened."

Van goth allowed himself a nod as a response.

"Please tell me you used protection."

Van frowned not sure whether to feel offended or not, "Yes. I did."

She sighed, "Good. I don't want to chance adding a child to this poisonous... Arrangement." Hazel turned, "I'll shower first."

Water cascaded over Hazel's weeping body. She felt soar from it all. Her legs going further up north ached, her arm ached and her brain felt like goo. What had she done?

Vivid images filtered through her mind, all very exciting but none comforting as each one was corrupted by images of Flin Frank using her for his own pleasure. More tears joined the water running down her body. Surely, she had thought she had control over her body. She felt wanton and dirty, the way her encounter with Flin had left her feeling. Van had been nothing like Flin but the feeling of stupidly and wantonly giving herself over made her feel like scum.

Hazel could clearly recall the hour she spent in the tub that night, actively scrubbing at her skin. That night, she cried herself to sleep. Even throughout that, she had fooled herself into thinking that Flin cared about her. Hazel had attempted to talk to her mother but Lionel stepped in, saying whatever she needed to talk about wasn't important. He had bluntly turned his back on her the day after. The confusion Hazel felt after was overwhelming. So she got on a plane with little to no possessions and not knowing what she was evening going to do. Her need to pick up her life alone at 19, nearly 20, was the only think that had kept her sane. Her need to feel anything other than hurt and betrayal led her to the bitterness that ate at her every action.

"Room service brought up some breakfast. Eating?" Van said, motioning towards the table. Hazel looked it over and her stomach did a double take of its earlier summersaults. She didn't want to eat, knowing that if she did, her stomach would ship it right back up.

She tilted her head upwards, going for a confident look, and replied evenly, "No thanks. I want to go visit a museum."

Van scowled and stood, "I'll go with you."

Surprisingly, the thought of having Van goth with her was not as disturbing as going by herself was. Museums were places she went to when she felt utterly alone. Yet by going there she only made that loneliness more pronounced.

"No thanks. You should relax. This is your honeymoon after." She said cryptically, "Good bye."

Hazel slid out of the door, her resolve and heart cracking as she went.

Loneliness was something she had become all too well used to. Living with Van for the past week had given her a sense of hope; a fool's gold filling of the empty space. However, their actions the night before, and the memories that rushed back the morning after were gruff wake up calls that seemed to break her worse than anything she could possibly be saving herself from.

Simply put, she was only making herself vulnerable by being around him.

*****FORCED*****