The Search

Chapter 1: It Began With A Flash

     Once upon a time...no that's too classic.

     There once was...nah too fantasy.

     You know what fuck it. I'm just gonna tell it like it is. It all began with a flash. A bright flash of light from his camera. It was finals week, and Jimmy had been trying to savor every moment of our last week together. I really don't know why he needed pictures though. I mean it's not like he didn't see me everyday. But he was my boyfriend, and I had to respect the fact that he was going to miss me. I guess I would miss him too. I mean summer was coming up fast, and Jimmy's family was going on a world tour. From Europe to Africa to Asia and back, Jimmy would be gone all summer. That meant we wouldn't see or hear from each other for almost 3 months. You see, his parents had this whole "no cell phones" rule on family vacations, so we would have no contact. I was fine with it. After all it was a family vacation, not a family and girlfriends vacation. But Jimmy was a very different story.
     "Smile babe!" I turned around and was blinded, for the 8th time, by a camera flash. Jimmy strikes again.
     "Jim, what have it told you about that? A little warning next time?" I said, still recovering from seeing stars.
     "Sorry. I'm just so fucking pissed at my parents. This stupid rule. No phones? HOW WILL I SURVIVE!?"
     "Hey, hey, hey. Stop that. You're starting to sound like me."
     Jimmy laughed at that. He leaned in, and we shared a long, somewhat awkward kiss. His mouth tasted like nachos and bubble gum. Two of my favorite things...but not at the same time. But this wasn't the first time I was feeling turned off by him. For a minute now, I had been feeling less attracted to Jimmy, and more attracted to people of the same sex. Girls. It's not like I hadn't felt these feeling before. I have always been fascinated with females. What's not to like? "Girls do it better!"
I knew I was a lesbian long before I got with Jimmy, I had just decided to keep it a secret. I told myself I just didn't want all the attention, but I was actually just in denial. Since the day I got together with Jimmy, I was already thinking about our break up. And the craziest part about it was, my heart was already set on someone else.
     "Alright Baby. I gotta run and grab my stuff. Brb. Don't go anywhere."
     "Oh. Sure."
     I wasn't listening. I was walking through the halls and trying to gather my thoughts. Was I really in love with Jimmy? No. Was I straight? Fuck no. Those questions I had the answers to. But why was I still with him? Why was I still hiding? Those I couldn't answer. I had reached my locker, but before I could put in my combination...
     "BOO!!!" I jumped. It was her. Arianna Martinez. My gorgeous crush of a stud. She was everything I wanted and more. Her short hair, Caramel complexion, and deep brown eyes. She was who I really wanted to be with. "Yo Morris. Chill out. It's only me." She had this strange habit of calling everyone by their last name. Or maybe she just did that with me.
     "Oh my God!!!! Arie don't do that!!! You nearly gave me a heart attack!!!" Why was I shouting? Why had I just called her Arie? Was I completely out of it?

     "Woah there Sweetheart, be cool. It was just a joke." She laughed. "And Arie huh?" She paused in thought, "I can get down with that. But you know I like Papi better." Her Latin side is so sexy sometimes.

     "I'm sorry. You know how I get." And that was the problem. Arianna...no wait...Papi and I have been friends since the first day I came to Middleton. Back then, she was a sophomore and I was a freshman. But it's been a whole year, and now we're best friends. How the hell am I supposed to date my best friend?
"Yea I know Mami." Oh the Spanish. "You're fucking paranoid." She laughed and walked off. We were in the hallway in front of the door, but before she left she turned around and looked at me. My heart stopped. I was in a trance. "We still hanging out after school?"
"Oh...ummm...yea."
"You're a fucking weirdo." She laughed and walked out the door. It was like every time I was with her, I lost my breath.
"Bae!!!!!!!! Where did you go?" Jimmy said putting his arm around me.
"I was just about to head home." My breath had magical come back. Funny how my best friend takes my breath away, and my boyfriend slaps it into me again. But I like being breathless. I can feel more that way. But right now I felt numb. Every time I was with Jimmy I felt numb. But I guess getting the air slapped into you will do that sort of thing.
"Oh. Well...why don't you come to my house. A little pre-vacation fun?" And just like that I was forced to make a decision. Blow off my best friend, who I really wanted to be with, or leave Jimmy in the dust?
"Jimmy I have to tell you something...and you're not gonna like it." At that he took his arm down. He looked at me, and I knew it was time.
     "What happened?"
     "I'm in love...but not with you." I said turning around to leave.
     Jimmy grabbed me by the wrist. "What?"
     "You heard me," I said in the most serious voice I could. I was almost in tears.
      "Well if it's not me, then who?" Jimmy had tears in his eyes too.
     "I'm in love with Arianna." With that I turned and ran out the building, leaving him standing alone in the hallway.