One Small Island

Chapter 4 Onward and Upward

After she had been driving northward for a couple of hours, Edina found that she had just about run out of things to think about. Usually her favorite topic was, quite honestly, herself. She was determined to put the whole mess back in New York out of her mind, but found that all musings quickly looped back to her now former job, husband, and best friend.

World events and politics had never been an interest so the news was out, she wasn't really a fan of books or movies and she'd already scanned through every station on the radio. Soon she found herself thinking of all the things she'd sacrificed by dedicating her every waking moment to her career. She'd never wanted children so that wasn't a loss but obviously she hadn't spent enough time working on her marriage and being a good friend.

"Stop!" she said aloud "New topic!" And that's when it occurred to Edina that it might be a good idea to give whatshername the housekeeper the heads up that she was on her way. Not that she felt it necessary to announce herself, this was her own home after all, but she also didn't want to pull in and scare the old woman half to death. Edina reached for her phone then realized it was still back in her master bathroom covered in shards of mirror. Damn thing probably didn't even work now anyway. She was going to need a new one.

Never being one to put off a task, Edina quickly thought back to what the young man at the dealership had told her about how the Mercedes was equipped with a state of the art, voice controlled navigation system. The exact details of what he'd said were a bit fuzzy as she hadn't really been paying attention but she did remember feeling as though the way it worked was very similar to using Siri on her iphone.

"Siri, I need a new phone." She said feeling very accomplished as she'd never even tried the voice control feature before.

"I'm sorry, please repeat that." A disturbingly sexy female voice responded. She was instantly annoyed. Leave it to her pig of a husband to buy a car that sounded like a phone sex operator.

"I need a new phone." She repeated loudly and clearly.

"I'm sorry could you please say that again?" the car responded. Edina was now getting frustrated.

"Sure. My phone broke and I need a new one." Edina said.

"I'm sorry, I don't understand. Did you want to search for a Point of Interest?" the car asked. Of course she thought the damn system needed her to say the name of a place.

"Yes, I need to find a cellular phone store." Edina said slowly and clearly. "I'd prefer AT&T but at this point any carrier would be fine." The little computer in the dash made a small whirring noise and began scrolling through various screens. Finally, she was getting somewhere she thought to herself and smiled. This really was a very convenient system once you'd figured it out. A few minutes later the flashing had stopped and Edina looked down. The usual multicolored map on the display was gone. Instead the screen had gone black and read Please visit your local Mercedes Benz dealership for service. She pounded the steering wheel. Sam hadn't just bought a car that sounded like a stripper, he'd bought one with a bimbo's IQ.

Fuming, she wrenched the wheel to the right and cut across two lanes to take the next exit then instantly regretted it. With all the cities and malls that she'd passed along the way, somehow Edina had pulled off into the land that time forgot. The minuscule main street boasted only a greasy looking pizza place, a defunct general store with soaped up windows and a rundown gas station complete with a rusting metal awning which loomed over two outdated gas pumps. But, to her great surprise, there in the lot stood a phone booth. Probably the last remaining one on earth she muttered to herself as she pulled over, grabbed some change and exited the car. Edina didn't know exactly where she was but she sure as hell knew it wasn't Manhattan.

As the phone rang for the fifth time she began to worry. What if the old woman had died? Or gone away on vacation? Who was going to let her in? She hadn't really planned to head to the Cape and hadn't brought her keys. Was she going to have to call a locksmith or worse, find a hotel. But really, what if the old crone had kicked the bucket? God, please don't let her be lying there stinking up my house Edina thought. But just as her worry was starting to mount, there came a tired, almost sickly voice on the line "Hello?" it said in a voice such a strong Brazilian accent it sounded more like "hallow".

"Hi. Yes hello?" Edina began and cleared her throat "This is Edina Francis. I just wanted to give you the heads up that I'm on my way to the island. I should be arriving in around 40 minutes."

Suddenly, the voice on the other end of the line sounded more awake "OK. Should I make up some dinner for you and Mr. Francis?" It asked.

Wait a second Edina thought what was up with the housekeeper? She didn't sound old at all. Had she even called the wrong number? No, the voice had seemed to recognize her. What if it was a crazy fan like in that movie Misery? God she wished she'd watched that one so she would know how to escape.

"Who is this? What have you done with my housekeeper? I'm not paying ransom if that's what you were hoping for." Edina said accusingly.

"I'm sorry?" The young voice responded.

"Who. Are. You. And what are you doing in my home?" Edina said.

"This is Gloria." The young woman said surprised.

"Gloria who?" Edina shot back.

"Gloria Bomba the person who lives in your house and keeps it clean ever since Mrs. Tornado went back to Venezuela. Do you not remember?" Gloria said.

But Edina didn't remember. She hadn't even been able to recall the old lady's name. Maybe there was a fuzzy recollection of Sam saying something about a replacement but don't worry it had been taken care of.

"Well OK then." Edina said "I knew that. No, dinner won't be necessary. Mr. Francis will not be joining us tonight or ever again actually. In fact, could you please call down to the gate and have his credentials revoked?" Edina said in a very frosty voice. There was a stunned silence on the other end of the line.

"Hello? You still there?" Edina asked not sure if perhaps she'd run out of time on the pay phone.

"Oh yes." The young girl replied "I'll call down now." If she said anything further, Edina didn't hear because she'd already returned the receiver to its hook.