It's always been you

The transfer

Aria's POV

All I manage to think about is Ezra. Dreading my next lesson with him, no matter how much I love English I can't love it knowing he's going to be there. Either he lied to me and told me he doesn't feel the same, or he actually doesn't feel the same and both hurt more than anything. I feel my only option is to transfer out of his class, and take up English next year. I get to school early to see the office about getting a transfer form. I need to sort this before third period, which is English. I get to the office and the lady working today fills out all the basic blanks for me, so all I need is a signature from Ezra and an approval from the principal. 

Before people start to arrive to school I rush to Ezra's classroom and find him sitting at the desk, I knock on the open door to get his attention and he looks up, I see his eyes light up, but I don't know if that's just because it's what I want to see. 

"Aria, what can I help you with?"

"I'd like to transfer out your class."

The words hurt as they come out of my mouth and I'd like to. If only I believed it myself, I'm hating every single minute of this. I'd love to see his boyish everyday but I know it's just not enough. I finally get the courage to look at him and he does look disappointed. Genuinely. 

"I understand where you're coming from, but I wish you could stay in the class."

"This isn't an easy decision," at all, "but I feel like it's the right thing to do."

"I can keep my feelings in check."

So he does have feelings for me. He lied! I want to mad at him for lying but then I'd be lying to myself, I've never been more happy to be honest. I feel so much better now I know that this wasn't just a silly crush, which he was laughing at. He really does have feelings for me. 

"I can't, and even if I could, I don't want to."

I look at him, I can see it in his eyes he's hurt. I want him to say something but he just doesn't and I feel the sudden urge to justify myself. 

"It's just too hard to sit in this room everyday and call you 'Mr Fitz'. I can't pretend like I don't know you," I slide the form closer to him and look at him hopefully, "will you sign it?"

He looks at the form and briefly reads it. 

"Are you sure?" He asks and I can tell he wants me to say no.

"I'm sure."

I watch him pick up and pen and slowly sign his name and signature, I don't even look back before taking it back and walking out. I can't keep looking at him without these feelings rushing all over me, controlling me. I already know I'm going to have to make an excuse for transferring out of English to my parents and to my friends. Everybody knows it's my passion. 

Ezra's POV

I tried to keep her in my class, I even admitted my feelings. Now I'm just an idiot and I've lost her. I can't even talk to her in class anymore, who would have thought something I've been looking forward to all my life I now regret, I could've tried out any job but I went with teaching high school. A place where what I'm feeling is illegal. Maybe Aria's transfer was for the best, not seeing each other everyday will help move on, won't remind me of what a beautiful, intelligent girl she is, but the more I think of her the more I'll remember that. So for now I'm still regretting any teaching decision I've ever made. 

Aria's POV

All that's left now is to get the principal to approve which sounds easy enough, all he has to do is stamp it. I see Spencer down the hall who has already spotted me, so I can't run. She starts heading towards me so I fold the paper up and put it in my pocket, but Spencer being Spencer, had already noticed it. 

"What was that?" She asks looking at the pocket I put it in. I would lie but I can't lie to Spencer she's my best friend. 

"Transfer form"

"For who's class?"

"Ez- Uh, Fitz"

"What? Why Aria, you love English and you're good at it? Has it got something to do with Fitz?"

"No Spencer, please believe me."

"I do, I guess you got to get that approved, I'll see you later then"

We hug goodbye and I make my way to the principals office. I know Spencer and the girls are only joking when they talk about Ezra but I have to make sure they think nothing's going on. It would get him in so much trouble, and not to mention I'd never have any chance of being with him then. I know this is a long shot, but it's only two years until I graduate, obviously I'm not expecting us to wait for each other, but there's a chance when the time is right, we'll both be single, and maybe something then could happen. 

I get to the office and knock on the door and wait to be told to come in, once I'm in I hand over the form and ask him to stamp it, thinking that was all I had to do. 

"Why do you want to transfer, I can't just approve without a legitimate reason"

Crap. I can't tell him I want to transfer because I have feelings for my English teacher from where we got together in a bar. 

"I uh- just don't like it anymore"

"That's not a reason Miss Montgomery, I'm going to have to decline this"

Before I even have the chance to have a better reason he's slams a red stamp across the form saying in big, bold letters 'DECLINED'. I guess the only thing to do is think positively, at least now I get to see Ezra every day, I'll just have to learn to call him Mr Fitz. 

 Ezra's POV

All my lessons have been going fine but as soon as I get happy with myself I remember that my day's going to be ruin when three rows back in the middle is an empty desk with no Aria staring back at me. It's not been until now that I really want this to work, maybe it could I mean, we both feel for each other enough to keep it a secret and we both want it to work. I just don't know how much I can trust her I guess, I mean I've only really spent time with her once, and even then she let me believe she was older than she is. I'm going to have to think about it, but for now I have her class to teach, it just won't be the same. 

Once her class are seated I begin to write the title of today's lesson and set some work. I lean against my desk just staring at her empty chair when I see someone walk through my door. At first I thought it was just my mind playing tricks on me but then it's just too real. It's Aria. She walks towards me and slides the declined form onto my desk, and takes her usual seat. I can't hide the small smile that's on my face and I see her smiling too. I see Spencer Hastings look back at Aria puzzled and I start to wonder how much she tells her friends. Until I know just what she tells them and how much they already know I know I can never think about getting with her. 

Approaching the end of the lesson everybody starts to pack up and waits for me to dismiss them. I think that could be my favourite part of teaching, the respect I've gained in just 2 days of working here. 

"Well done today, Miss Montgomery can I see you please? Everybody else you may go."

Everybody leaves and I hear a few people thank me for the lesson, and Aria just standing at her desk looking down until everybody is gone. She slightly shrugs her shoulders and tells me she's sorry.

"What are you sorry for?"

"Not transferring. He wouldn't let me."

"I'm not going to lie, I'm glad" and just as I feel we may be having a moment another teacher walks and I have to change the subject to her being late and dismiss her quickly. We're going to have to be so careful.