Is it fate or hate?

Chapter 7

Susan's pov

I rolled of my bed falling into the floor with a big thud and got up slowly picking myself up from the cold carpenter floor and checked my phone to see I had a text from Jonah.

~ Convo ~
Fuckboy😃~ sup lil whore wanna hang today
Me~ no I hate you
Fuckboy😃~ fine I'm coming over so we can walk to school
Me~ okay dokie lil girl fucker
~End of convo ~
I walked to the bathroom and put on some mascara and foundation with a little bit of bronzer and pink lipstick, then I changed into the outfit above. I ran down the stairs almost knocking Cameron over and grabbed some fruity pebbles of the counter and happily ate them while stalking people on Twitter. I finished my bowl of fruity pebble and put the bowl in the sink as I heard the doorbell ring meaning Jonah was here.

"Susan, Jonah is here" Cameron yelled.
I ran over to Jonah who was standing at the doorway and jumped into his arms hugging him tightly.

"FUCK YOU I MISSED YOU" I yelled into his ear.

"I miss you too but please stop breaking my eardrums" Jonah says cringing. I got off of him still hugging him tightly and say by to Cam and started walking to school with my muffin.

"Hey so Hayes was talking to me about how he liked you" Jonah said while scratching the back of his neck.

"Are you serious"

"Yeah... I don't think it's a good idea"

"What are you talking about" I said getting confused.

"Well I think he's a player and is just going to end up breaking your heart" Jonah said slightly raising his voice. I stopped dead in my tracks staring right at him giving him a glare.

"Well you know what I dot give a fuck about what you think about him because I like him , okay" I said practically yelling at him.

"Okay well when he breaks your heart don't come running back to me"
"So what are you saying" I said bringing my voice almost to a whisper but loud enough for him to hear.

"I'm saying I can't be friends with you if you date him" Jonah said coldly.

"Fuck you Jonah Marais Frantzich" I said on the verge of tears, starting to shove him out of the door slightly punching his chest but tears now falling down my face. He finally gets to the door step and I get the chance to fully shove him out, slamming the door loudly causing one of the vases to fall and break making me jump while sliding down the door shaking.
"Why does this always happen to me?!!!!" I scream thinking Cameron would come save me but I'm pretty sure he's having sex with his girlfriend Sarah. I'm sitting there balling my eyes out wondering what to do and I finally know what it is. I go into my bathroom connected to my room making sure to lock my bedroom door and bathroom door, looking around the bathroom desperately to find my razor. I look into my bath tub and see t laying there on the side calling my name, so I start my way over to it inching myself to the shinny pain reliever. I slowly pick it up carefully wondering if I should do it. I make up my mind and start to take it apart one by one taking out the razor while placing it the rest to the side and holding the metal in my hand waiting for what will happen next. I start to grip into it causing the razor to slowly and might I say painfully draw blood and make a huge cut into my skin making itself bigger each time I squeeze my hand causing more pain. I Ingrid the razor from my palm taking it into my other had while examining the blood dripping down from the wound and go back to now slitting my wrists deep but now too deep. I being the killing thing onto my skin letting the cold from the metal graze upon my small wrist, then pressing it on my skin ever so lightly and increasing the pressure. I do this five more times in each wrist causing pain but k know I deserve it because I'm suck a fuck up. I take a look at everything I have done while placing my razor next to my and picking up my pill box for my anti-depressants. I start to untwist the cap, my body trembling making it hard to concentrate on opening the bottle, finally getting it open I poor it into my hand with my other one still shaking. I slowly lift my hand up to my mouth ready to swallow 15 anti-depressants to hopefully end my life until the door bursts open with the least expected person standing in to door way rushing to me.

HAHAHAH THATS RIGHT IM LEAVING YOU WITH THAT. By I way I hope you all know you are beautiful and are here for a reason. This is all just for the story and if you do cut or ever think about suicide please please don't do it. I love you all very much and it hurts me to see all those scars. I love you all my muffins❤️