Choas

Chaos

*Introduction*

Have you ever felt like your life is just hanging by a thread? And as soon as that thread breaks there's no reason, no answers and the big question is why am I here? The answers never seem to come and the question takes over life. You make no move to answer it, you wait for the answer to find you but it never will. Not unless someone gives you a push. At first you try and keep your feet firmly on the ground but eventually the force of the push will send you flying head first. You don't land though, you never will unless you find the answer. Will there ever be a right answer? Probably not, there will be an answer you will settle on. An answer that leaves you happy and content in the end.

The push I have received is from my dad. It's harsh, but he says its necessary. He's kicking me out. It all started about a two months ago when my boyfriend said that he loved me. I might sound stupid but I don't think that's something that you just say.

It has to be planted into a special moment, like when your about to kiss someone and right before you kiss you say the three words.

I love you.

You don't say it with a mouthful of pizza, while driving, also while honking the horn at someone who just cut you off. We were heading to his house when it happened. I stuttered out,

'taa..ke ..... Mm...me home, NOOW!' he looked over worry splashed across his angelic features.

'Why babe? Are you okay?'

I sighed 'just take me home'

I rested my forehead on the window as he attempted to do a u-turn in the dark street.

That's all I remember, but I keep having nightmares about truck lights coming towards the drivers side of the car. I'm not sure if that's a memory or if I just made that part up in my head but its been haunting me ever since.

My family tried to be supportive and understanding but it just made things worse. School was goddam awful, the sympathetic looks from every direction the flowers and little notes on his locker door. It's hard walking into a class and him not waiting at the door, the tears that somehow just start to fall in the middle of maths or history. The memories that haunt the halls and the grandstand next to the oval.

The truck lights in my dream and the three words that will forever be embedded in my mind.

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AUTHORS NOTES:

Hope you like it, please give me feedback I will post the first chapter next week!