Choas

'Home' again

Two months later, I'm waiting for the train in a light mist. My mid length brown hair has started to go fizzy and the eye make up around my bright blue eyes is starting to smudge. Dad thought a change of scenery would be 'refreshing'.

I'm off to the country, where we used to live. We lived in the small town of Bunderburg until I was nine. Our move to the city was because of Mums work as an architecture. Living in a small town there wasn't many opportunities to pursue her work.

My uncles farm is about an hour and a half from there in an even smaller town called Chester. The farm is called 'Chesters Dawn', it is mainly a beef farm but they also run sheep on the side.

I used to visit there as a kid, it's where I learnt to shoot, swim, ride horses and motorbikes, drive utes and muster livestock. It was hard leaving that all behind for the city.

The first month or so drove me insane because of the foggy air but I soon got into the swing of it. Now to go back to the place where I was raised. It just seems wrong, I thought 'he' would be there with me when I went back, I suppose that's the way life is. Unpredictable.

As the train pulls into the I hug my parents goodbye, I turn and board the it before they see my tears. I know they are going to cry, I don't understand why though, they are the ones making me leave in the first place. I don't even wave goodbye, stuff them.

At the last minute I turn and give them a reassuring nod. I close my eyes as I settle in for the two hour train trip.

***

'Excuse me, darl. This is the last stop honey you need to wake up and get off.'

I look up to see the conductor and an old lady standing over me with concerned expression of there faces.

'Oh, right, yep, right.' I stumble over my words as I stuff my iPod in my bag and pull my suitcase from the racks about my head.

'Have a good day' the conductor says with a smile as he helps the old lady off the train.

'You too,' I call over my should as a walk briskly down the platform and towards the car park to find my uncle.

'Just great,' I sigh as it starts to rain.

'Katherine!' Someone yells out from the window of a mini bus.

Oh god, keep walking and hopefully they were calling out to someone else.

'Katie! Deary it's me! Uncle Owen' he says with a smile and a wave. He then embraces me in a bone crushing hug.

'Uncle Owen, it so good to see you. What's with the bus, I thought I was about to get kidnapped ?' I ask slightly confused.

'Oh, haha, nah the boys wanted to meet you. Oi! Someone come help the lady with her luggage.' The bus door slides open and a boy gets pushed onto the pavement. He literally lands on his stomach. He jumps up, turns around and bangs on the door. Giving up with a annoyed sigh, he then turns to me. I try to hide my amused smirk, but he manages to catch it. He scowls picks up my suitcase, throws it over his shoulder and makes his way to the side of the bus to it underneath.

'Lets get out of this rain ay? Jump in. You can come in the front with me, or if your game in the back with the boys.' He says with a amused tone.

'I think I'll go in the front, thanks.' I reply cautiously. But as I take a step forward the bus door slides open again and before I can do anything I'm being spun around in another bone crushing hug.

'Katie, it's so good to see you. Long time no see ay? My word, I don't think you've even grown.' I look up to see my cousin Dan standing before me.

'Look at you! You must nearly be 6 foot 2.' I exclaim sarcastically.

'6 foot one' he says as he puffs out his chest proudly.

'Come in the back with me, we have so much catching up to do!' He smiles and drags me towards the sliding door.

***

When you miss someone so much and then see them again, the feelings and memories come flooding back in one big emotional wave. You ride out that wave as you cry and laugh. The memories are not always happy but having them with that person is somewhat comforting, being rapt up in there arms gives you the true feeling of home. The feeling of belonging.

There's not a good memory from my childhood that doesn't have Dan in it. He was always like my older brother. He has ashy blond hair with bright blue eyes and his tanned face that looks so cheeky when he smiles.

Once I step onto the bus the quiet chatter stops. I remember most of the boys faces, including Nate, who has tanned skin with dark eyes and dark hair his lips set into a grin as he sees me walk on. Axel, who has blond hair and bright, alert teal eyes and a lop sided grin as he nods a hello. Mason who is short with brown hair and light brown eyes.

The other three boys I don't recognise but soon get introduced as Darcy who has who has pale skin dark brown hair and ash grey eyes, Charlie who has brown hair cover by his akubra and dark brown eyes.

Finally I get introduced to the boy who got pushed out of the bus and helped me with my bags. I know it's him in the dim light because of the slight graze on his cheek. He looks at me with hard eyes. His name is Ash, his olive skin makes his blue eyes shine bright in the glow the street lamp. His brown curly hair is just long enough to cover his ears and the nape of his neck. His lips set in hard line, geeze what did I ever do to him?

'Now, boys if any of you touch my cousin, I'm going to have to kill you.' Dan says half serious half joking. I can tell by the look in his eye that he's defiantly not joking.

'Alright,boys. Oh and and girl, buckle up we have a 2 hour drive to get through, no punching, kicking, spitting or vomiting,' Owen says in a tone that makes us all crack up.

As we start driving its silent but as we get further into the country the stories start coming out. Every sentence begins with: hey remember the time when, how funny was it when? It was so funny when and how about when?

We each take in turns of embarrassing each other with stories from our childhood, soon we are all laughing so hard that tears are running rapidly down our cheeks.

Charlie and Darcy laugh along as well, but not Ash he just watches the droplets of rain run down his window. As the subject changes from when we were little to present day I make no move to join in the conversation. It's just to painful, I still laugh and smile along with there stories like the one about Dan's first girlfriend and the one about Nate winning state champion in junior bull riding.

When Dan asks what made me come 'home' I go quiet. I look up and make eye contact with Owen in the rear view mirror, I straight away know that he knows about the accident by the look of sympathy he gives me. I look away and feel my face fall into the emotionless mask I have been wearing for the past 2 months in the city.

'Well I haven't been up to much really. Just missed everyone so much I thought I might come for a visit.' Dan instantly gets that it is a touchy subject by the way I show no emotion in my voice or on my face.

'How long are you going to stay?' He asks with a careful, soft voice.

'I don't know yet but at the moment, probably just a month but it might be two?' I answer with a fake smile on my face.

'Well you are welcome to stay as long as you need.' Owen says as we make eye contact through the rear view mirror again. I give him a nod in thanks and turn to look out the window.

As the rain starts to fall heavier I feel my eye lids get heavy and soon enough I let them drop.