Imperfect love

Chapter 5 - let down your guard

                           *natsu's pov*

The gym class felt different then ever before, my eyes keeps glancing over at Lucy, watching her run and smile as she works hard through the practice. The way her chest rose and fell as she breaths and the small beads of sweat forming on her forehead. Her cheeks red from the body heat ,would she look like that in- my thoughts get interrupted as I get hit on the side of my face  by one of the volleyballs. I groan loudly and curse under my breath, Lucy giggles lightly along with some of the other girls and I glare at gray who had thrown the ball. He just grins as he holds another ball. "Are you okay?" Lucy walks up to me and I rub my cheek "I think so" I say feeling the stinging pain against my cheek. It wasn't worse then when lisanna had hit me. She let her hand press lightly against my cheek and somehow it eased the pain, I was starting to let my guard down around her. I can't let that happen.... "Let's get you a ice bag" she smiles tugging me by my hand into the guys changing room and had brought a bag of ice. She presses the ice against my cheek and we sit in silence, my gaze wandering around the room, my nose scrunches at the horrible condition and hygiene of the room. "Tch, gray should learn how to toss" I say trying to break the silence and she chuckles "You know it's rude to stare" she says repeating the words that I had said yesterday "what do you mean?" I ask glaring at her slightly and a small blush creeps up on her face "you were staring at me a lot, it made me kind of nervous" she mumbles "I was just keeping an eye on you, you wouldn't know what kind of creeps there is in this school" I say and she bites down onto her bottom lip nodding. I studied her features, her hair in just one pony tail, tightly put up. Her eyes had a kind of sparkle to them, I couldn't put my finger on it. She had always had a sparkle but this one was different "I wanted to ask you a thing" she removes the ice pack from my cheek and puts it beside me "about what?" I raise my eyebrow "about that kiss...." She mumbles in a whisper as her gaze turns away from mine "what about it?" She looks back up at me as she stands up from her kneeled down position "did that kiss mean anything to you or was it just something to make me stay by your side?" She asks. I didn't know how to respond, she annoyed me, the way she smiled at everyone and everything and how she somehow had sneaked through one of my barriers unlocking some types of feelings "gray mentioned that love is a difficult thing for you" she puts her hands on my shoulders rubbing small circles with her thumbs "I don't believe in love only the pleasures of sex" I say, I had never had serious relationships only those with no strings attached..... "I don't believe you" she says and I take her hands off my shoulders as I stand up "you are really a foolish girl aren't you?" I chuckle walking a few steps away from her "what is so bad about love?" She asks and I take a hand through my hair letting out a heavy sigh "I'm not gonna explain all the reasons" I say starting to walk towards the door that leads out to class "you still didn't answer my last question" she says and I stop as I had grabbed the door knob "what did the kiss mean to you?" She asks and I turn my head seeing her gaze looking at her shoes, the way her body language was it looked like she was gonna cry "i don't know" I say walking out of the changing room. The day went by and I noticed she wasn't at lunch..... Neither in class, I texted her a few times but no reply. I walk out of the school, shuffling past students and heading towards her house, she can't just ignore me. I knock at her door, feeling annoyed and frustrated at her absence, why did she have to be like this? What did she think the kiss meant? Was it really that big of a deal. The maiden opens the door and I ask for Lucy, she hadn't been home either so I start looking near the area and also near the school. I pick up my phone and call her "hello?" She answers the phone and I click my tongue "where are you?" I ask she doesn't answer "where are you Lucy?" I ask once again getting angry "why should I tell you?" She tried sounding emotionless but I heard a small sniffle "have you been crying? Why are you ignoring my text?" My questions were many but there wasn't many answers "God dammit Lucy! Do you really want a answer about that kiss? About my thoughts towards love?" My frustration was clear and I couldn't keep in my words "love is a load of bullshit! Nothing good comes out of it, when the person you love leaves you out of the blue that person takes a piece of your heart! That's what keeps happening to me! The people I love leaves and takes a piece of me with them! My dad, my mom God dammit even my own brother! Maybe I don't know what love is but this is the love I have!" I nearly yell into the phone hitting the brick wall next to me and leaning my forehead against it "every time you smile, laugh, blush I get annoyed, the way you act towards everyone annoys me! I can't get the kiss off my mind and that annoys me the most! My feelings annoy me so much I want to rip my hair out of my scalp" I let out a breath I didn't even realized I was holding "you keep sneaking into my life like my barriers wasn't hard enough!" "Natsu....." She whispers on the other side of the line and I shut my eyes rubbing my temples "why can't I just be normal around you? Like I am towards everyone!" "I'm in the park" she says quickly before hanging up. I shove my phone in my pocket, damn her. I start running towards the park, turning a corner past the fence and seeing the park. Stopping I look over at the swings seeing her rock back and forth on one of them slightly, I shove my hands into my pockets walking towards her, she doesn't notice me as I approached her "oi, brat" I huff and she looks up at me. Her eyes glossy from crying, it was silent between us two before she throws herself into my arms and I stumble back slightly, her face nuzzled against my shirt "I love you Natsu" she says and I look down at her "your feelings are just-" she cut me off "I love you God dammit!" She yells pushing at my chest as she looks at the ground "if you don't love me back I don't mind, I just want you to know I won't leave you..... I won't do like your parents and brother did" she yells her eyes finally meeting mine, she wipes away a couple of tears that had fallen before she puts on a smile "being able to be your friend and stay close to you is enough for me" in that moment it annoyed me how she could put on a smile when she was hurting. "Maybe someday I'll be able to fix you" she looks at one of the blossom trees, the wind blows which made petals fall and in her hair. I finally understand what that sparkle in her eyes was, fighting. She fights for what she feels and wants. I walk up to her and ruffle her hair "tch,do you always tend to fall in love with the wrong guys?" I start walking with my hands shoved in my pockets hearing her run after me and walks beside me "do you always click your tongue" I gave her a glare which only made her giggle "you truly are the right person to fall in love with" she smiles and I look away feeling my face heat up, this damn girl. "You are blushing again, did I hit a soft spot?" "Shut up or you are walking alone"