Screw Up

Chapter 1~ Ana

The first one I met was tall and beautiful. She was very skinny, literally the definition of perfection. The first time I met her it was a rainy Thursday. I was in my room and she appeared. She told me she was new to the neighborhood. She specifically told me that her name was Ana. She looked around the room and the first thing she saw was my tea party set and the small colorful table that it sat on.

"Lets play tea party!" she said, very enthusiastically.

"Sure thing! Let me just go and get the snacks and tea" I said as I began to go down the stairs.

In about 5 minutes I was back upstairs and the table was set up. A chair for Ana, Mr. Teddy, My Little Mermaid, and me. Both the cookies and the tea in the center of the table.

"Tea and cookies?" I offered politely just like my mother taught me.

"Nah I don't want to get FAT" she replied.

"Fat?" I said "What does fat mean" being only 5 years old I have never heard this word used before and was curious.

"It's when your stomach bulges out and your face is round" she replied

I looked at her dumbfounded. Bulge? What was this different language she was speaking? But before I could ask another question, she saw the reaction on my face and proceeded to tell me again what she meant by the word fat.

"FAT is what you have right there!" She said as she pointed around my stomach area, neck, arms, and legs.

I took this so harshly, I started crying before I even knew I was crying. The hot tears ran down my face as I looked at her snickering face. How DARE she? Invite herself into my house and then call me "fat"!? Never again..

"GET OUT!" I screamed. And before I knew it, she was gone. I looked everywhere in my room but couldn't find her. Still upset from her comment, I sat on my bed and cried. But soon, I got up and looked in the full length mirror my mother had gotten me. I observed my arms, legs, neck, and stomach area. Then I picked up my pet rock and broke the mirror. Glass flew everwhere which made me cry even more. Soon my door flew open and in ran my mom. Blood was running down my body while tears streamed down my face.

"What happened sweetheart?" My mother asked as she took me into the bathroom to wash the blood off.

"A girl named Ana was in my room and told me I was FAT! I scream.

"Ana sweetheart? Who is Ana?"

"She is our new neighbor! and I never want to see her again!"

But do you know what happened? I did see her again. And not just once or twice. But every day for the next 10 years. Ana caused me so much pain and suffering. She caused me to go into a deep depression and stop eating. After my encounter with her when I was five, I lost a ton of weight. I went from 65 pounds to 45 pounds in a month. Every year it happened. I would eat and eat and eat and then she would come to me and I would lose 20 or 30 pounds in a month. Its amazing how one person can ruin your life so bad, that all you want to do is die.. I stopped wanting to go to school, go out with friends, go to family functions. All the things I use to love I now could care less about. My life revolved around Ana and a weighing scale. By the time I was 16, I forgot how to laugh, smile, love, and live my life.