Thoughts of a broken boy

Just me and the bees

Life is an endless process. Just when you think that everything is okay and that you're good as you are something changes. Like it did today. When I got up this morning I was happy, I think. There was this warm feeling in my chest and I couldn't stop smiling. It was nice. However, I don't know why I suddenly felt this way. Everything was just like usual. I got up, took my shower, dried my brown hair, changed into a dark blue jean and a white shirt and then I ate breakfast. Afterwards I did my homework and studied a little. I'm in my last year of high school so I have to put in some effort if a want a good job. Not that I really need it though. I'm not a perfect A grade student but it's good enough. I was bored though. Then I read a book.

I was in the middle off a good scene when my phone rang. Arya. She wanted a get together with the group. We went to have barbecue in the park. Arya, Julien, his girlfriend Carla, Nayla my Ex-girlfriend, Miguel, Nayla's boyfriend and me. We rarely get together like this but since Arya was molested we do it if she wants. Friends have to hold together in times like this, don't they?

It was really fun, I guess. We talked lots. It looks like it's getting better with Julien and Carla. Arya was holding my hand the whole time. She needed the support, I think. It must be pretty bad to have been molested. I don't usually talk with her about it. I listen if she wants to talk about it but I don't start the talk. She thinks about it enough so I think it's better to let her forget for a while. She likes that. However, lately she's gotten really clingy. I hope she doesn't start to develop feelings for me... She is like a little sister. Not more, not less. I wouldn't know what to do if she wanted to date me. Just do it like I did with Nayla? Or say the truth? Well, the right thing would be to tell the truth. However, who am I kidding? I'll probably just go with the flow again. That's easier.

Do you know that bees really like me? They were swarming around me all day. My friends say that it was because I smell good. Like a flower. Was that a compliment? I didn't really like it though. Not because I hate bees or anything. They're great. It's just that I'm allergic to bees. I wasn't afraid though. All my friends know about my allergy and they were protecting me. It was sweet of them. It's sad that I can't answer the bees call. I'd like to be friends with them but it's difficult with my allergy. What I like most about the bees is that they work together. Additionally, they have a clear system. They got one queen who reproduces and the others concentrate on their work. It would be nice to be a bee. It would be so easy. There wouldn't be people who try to hurt you. Nobody would lie to you or make fun of you. Are bees happy? Can they even be? Or is happiness limited to humanity? If it is so, then I would like it even more to be a bee. My problems would just disappear and I would be free again. Like I was as a child. That would be nice...