Cold and Charisma (BoyxBoy)

Chapter Thirty-Two

Maybe it was the adrenaline pumping through my veins – or my dick – whichever one it was, it didn't make this right.

I knew he was doing this of his own accord, but it just all felt so sudden, so confusing, that for a moment the pleasure of his hands completely erased my morals. I needed to put an end to this – not for him, but for me.

"L-Look, Riley, I can't–" His pale fingers continued to work at my base, pumping me until his fingers dug into the slit at the top of my cock.

Fuck, Riley was making it way harder to put a halt to this than I'd anticipated.

"Can't what? You're already leaking," Riley chuckled, licking his lips as he stared at my cock, looking at it like it was a meal.

"You sound like you want this. You don't have to be so fucking embarrassed." He rolled his eyes, returning to his sassy attitude for a split second.

"That's not it, I–" Riley's movements on my cock only fastened its pace, as I tried not to let out any moans.

He knew I was enjoying it – with my mouth agape, eyes rolled back, and my grip on his blonde locks quivering, it was obvious I wanted this as much as he did.

But, I couldn't. I just couldn't.

I don't even know what got into me, but something about it didn't feel right. Sure, Riley was sober — we both were — but there was something else, something clawing at the back of my throat, making me unsure of everything.

Then I realized what it was. Fear.

Riley is the last person I'd be scared of – no matter how many times he insulted me, or threatened me, I was never scared. So why was I now? When I was in the exact position I'd been dreaming of being in since forever?

I could feel it coming – could feel myself coming – and no matter how badly I wanted it, I knew I couldn't let this happen.

Riley's hands, regardless of my attempts at telling him to stop, continued pumping my cock, as explicit moans escaped my lips at every jerk.

A wave of shame crept onto me, and in an instant, the pleasure I once tried suppressing turned into an immediate sense of fear – I needed to get him off me. Now.

Without a second thought, my hands, once clutching his locks, shoved him off his knees. Riley fell backward, and for a moment, he just sat there, palms pressed to the floor.

The seductive look on his face, the glimmer of lust in his beautiful blue eyes, the smirk on his wet lips— gone. Vanished as quickly as it had appeared.

He got up immediately, probably unwilling to stay in such an embarrassing position after I'd—how do I even put this — rejected him. I didn't know what to think.

Fuck. Did I just ruin everything?

Stupid, Archer. Is that even a question? Look at him..

Riley scoffed, and it seemed as if his expression held a louder insinuation than the loud music blasting from the speakers outside.

"What the fuck, Archer?!" He crossed his arms, his mouth wide open in shock, "What, did I accidentally bite your dick or something? The fuck was that for?"

It suddenly occurred to me that that was the first time I'd truly rejected and hurt Riley – and at the same time. I hadn't meant to push him to the point where he fell back, but I just.. Fuck! I just needed him to stop!

I don't know what was wrong with me – shouldn't I have wanted exactly that? His hands on my cock after several excruciating months of pining over him with no reciprocation?