Ophiuchus || L.T || Z.M ||

07- Everybody hurts

Tatia's POV

I closed my eyes and took a deep breath.

I let the cool air of the winter night blow into my face .

It didnt even feel cold . Maybe because i was already cold- not literally but figuratively.

I felt like as if im dead. Im absolutely numb. All i actually feel is pain .

It has been five days since that bizarre.

Five days since my mom died.

My heart still ached and i still cried my self to sleep. Pain was an understatement for what i was feeling.I felt alone , abandoned and as if someone punched my heart.

Every night that i would think of my mom , it was like punching myself in the gut . Every time i think of my life now , i want to die. Everything was out of place. My mom wasnt supposed to die like that. She deserved more.

Seeing her head delivered to me sent chills down my spine --- It got me mortified.

Zayn told me that it'll be okay and though i wanna believe it , I dont because i know it wont ever be the same.

" mommy," i whispered to the air." I miss you . I-i dont know what to do."

I didnt notice a few tears where rolling down my cheeks.

If i jump , would somebody care? If i jump would somebody miss me ? Everything i cared for was slowly disappearing.

I'm meant to die one day so why not do it now?

I took a few steps closer to the edge of my roof top .

I closed my eyes and took a deep breath.

Then i jumped.

I felt the wind hit the back of my head and i felt peace. I actually felt fine while i fell. I didnt mind dying anymore . I wasnt scared of death anymore. In fact , the idea of death made me feel at peace.

I waited for the cemented floor to hit my back but it seemed to take forever.

" are you out of your fucking mind?"

I groaned and opened my eyes ... Then closed them again when i saw louis." Let me go ."

Louis obliged and set me down the floor slowly.

" what the hell ,tatia?! What the fuck where you doing?" Louis exclaimed.

" nothing," i mumbled and walked back inside my house.

I heard louis follow closely behind me .

" nothing?!" Louis raised his voice a bit." That was the second time this week!"

" can you just please leave me alone  ," i said and went up to my room.

I shut the door but a few minutes later it opened.

I looked over my bedroom door to see louis.

" you cant just leave-"

" please just bugger off," i sighed.

"You cant just leave everything behind," louis said." How many times do i have to remind you?"

I sighed once again and lied down on my bed.

" Did you even think about your little sister ?!" louis scolded me. " WHat will happen to her if you die huh? You're just going to leave her like that?!"

" zayn could take care of her ," i murmured.

" You are so fucking selfish!"Louis exclaimed.

" You know what?! Yes !  Yes,I am fucking selfish ! I am selfish because i want to be finally happy and finally be at peace! Yes, I am selfish for thinking that my little sister would be okay without me because i want to die. But there is a reason for all of it. I lost my mom! I lost the one who gave birth to me and cared for me until the day she died! I lost the one who would teach me what to do and not to! I lost my teacher in life-- I lost evrything!" i snapped.

" You havent lost everything!" Louis cried. " You still have your little sister for fuck's sake! I was left with nothing the moment Cetus' died ! You have not watched the one who cared for you deeply turned into ash!"

" I just fucking watched my mother's head roll on the floor towards ME!" I yelled .

" Try watching your lover dying. Try watching her try her best to save her baby until she died. Try watching your first adoptive family dying in a 'mysterious fire ' in a thousand years ago. Try watching everyone you cared for turn into dust over the years because of YOU," Louis shouted. Tears were rolling down his cheeks and pain was visible through his eyes. His ocean blue eyes were starting to glow . He calmed himself and spoke again." You have your little sister with you now while i had no one by my side when all those shit happened..... Live because of that."

"I dont know how !" i cried. " Everything isnt making sense! My mother's dead isnt making any sense!"

Louis sighed and approached me. He wrapped his arms around my waist and let me cry on his shoulder like i let him before.

"It hurts," i sobbed.

" It'll get better," Louis whispered into my ear.

" How do you know ?" i murmured into his chest.

"Because i've felt that thousands of times but it always seemed to get better," louis chuckled .

silence enveloped the room and louis' broad arms were still around me , comforting me silently. I made sure to guard my fragile thoughts and thought of the things he shouldnt know.

I wonder what will happen if I told Louis that I'm Scorpio . Would he be here right now and still offer me a shoulder to cry on or book my death himself?

&&&&&&

Im sorry for this crappy chapter. I wrote half of this last week but didnt have the time to finish it and my school just started.... Oh and i didnt proof read😳😳😳😳 i rarely proof read and i know it's a bad habit 😂😂🙈

History is so freaking hard !

ANyways.... COMMENT WHAT YA THINK AND VOTE IF YA WANNA LLAMAS 😂🙈❤️

ALL THE FREAKING LOVE,

Eleahnah  Horan xxxxxxxxxxx ( in my dreams lol)