Let's talk about it later:

No Rhyme or Reason

So just like with the poems I'm making these blurbs about shit that have no real meaning except why not? So here's number 2~

---MH

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I've been here since the sun rose this morning and I don't plan to go anywhere else. This empty room, it swallows me fully, this darkness is slowly degrading my health. And I can't break into the right rhythm, I think my hearts been broken one too many times. It's aching from all the scars half healed around my insides. I thought I found a purpose, but I was just fooling myself. Each day I was wasting time, telling lies saying the words 'I'm fine'. I guess I was looking for something that wasn't broken.

They say I can't hold god accountable for my mistakes. Instead I'll crawl in a box, to keep the pain away. I wish they'd cut out my brain. Sell it to someone who could use it better, share it better; make the world a safer place. I can't sleep, actually I'm putting it off. Wide awake and stalling in my self-preserving box. You see, I'm letting my mind dwell, my feelings as well. I can't break free, from my insanity. It's eating away at me, keeping me up with anxiety because honestly, how am I supposed to sleep?

In this world, with all the prying eyes, piercing looks, and sharp words. My dreams always hurt and the nights haunt me. I'm an empty shell of what used to be, suddenly I can only look backwards. I'm already trying to change the past, redraw my cards. And I can't think straight, I don't know where to place my faith, perhaps that's my real fate. Losing all will and drive, falling flat on my face.

I sound so worried, so insecure, am I even human anymore? Some days I start to wonder, what made me start to blunder? Why god gave up on me so early in, wasn't my life just about to begin? So how do I survive, knowing the future brings troubled times. Can I even make it halfway to the finish line? All my faults laid bare, would they accept me for what I do have to share? A lost and broken girl, who is always making mistakes.

I swear, I'm not always like this. I swear I have more to give. I don't know what it is, or if its what you want. But, give this girl a chance to break down her box, maybe she'll have enough rhythm to fix what's broken. And maybe, I might actually get some sleep.