TRIGGER WARNING
Aleks why did you have to leave me on my own I don't know how I can cope. I don't know how much longer I can take it. It's been so long since I've heard your voice or even felt your soft hands upon my skin. The guys have gotten better since you passed but I'm still hurting, it hurts aleks. I can't remember the last time we kissed, I can't remember what you sound like, I can't even remember the last thing I said to you. Why, why did you do it, you mattered to so many people even though you felt like you didn't, you did. You made so many people laugh. When I make dinner I forget your not here anymore and I put to plates of pizza out. And then I remember, it makes me cry. I hate you not being here anymore. Ein and mishka sit at the door everyday and wait for you to come home but your never going to come home. I can't do anything, I can't eat or sleep or do anything. I want to fall a sleep and never wake up. I'm getting in the bath tub right now sweetie. I take the pills and I feel the blade upon my skin. I keep swiping. The waters Turing red. My arms numb. My body's numb. My visions blurry. I hear the door swing open. I hear Jordan's voice scream. I feel seamus hands cradling me. Everything turns black.
I'm coming my love.
