I Want To Die

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Tamara's P.O.V
"Please let me go! I don't want to be here anymore"! I cried.
"Hey, don't say that! I understand it's hard but pain doesn't last forever" he said.
"No, your wrong! I'm always going to feel and be alone and unwanted and unloved! Why do you care? You don't even know me"! I shouted.
"I've been where you are ya know, maybe I didn't loose two of my closest friends but I've been suicidal and I've even tried killing myself. So that's why I'm here. Because I know what it's like to want to die!" He replied.
"I had no idea" I said, lowering my tone and suddenly feelings guilty.
"It's fine. It was in the past. Maybe I should take you home? It's quite late so the funeral must of finished by now, plus your mum must be really worried about you" he said, standing up and offering me his hand.
"No , please! I can't go home like this" I begged, showing his the grazes and cuts on my face, arm and legs and pointed out the make up streaming down my face and the whole in the dress.
He stood there staring at me for a minute.
"I suppose you could stay the night" He offered.
"Thank you so much" I said.
"This way" he said leading me back this home.
We spoke the whole way back about Skylar and Tom.
"Hang on, if we're gonna continue talking I need to know your name. I mean it's only fair, you know mine" I laughed.
"My names Luke Hemming's" he said.
Then I realised why he looked and sounded so familiar.
Then it clicked.
Skylar used to be addicted to this boy band, 5 seconds of summer when she was still alive.
Everywhere we went she always spoke about them.
"Ashton Irwin, Michael Clifford, Calum Hood and Luke Hemming's" I said, thinking out loud.
"So you've heard of us"? Luke said, flashing me a cheeky grin.
"That all depends, does my best friend who always used to talk about you and your band count as hearing about you"? I said, returning the smile.
Suddenly, my smile turned into a frown  when I thought about Skylar and Tom.
Luke must of realised because when we pulled up outside his house, he stopped in front of me.
"Is everything okay"? He asked, sounding concerned.
"It's just weird to think they're actually dead. They where only 17, we all had a future planned out. And now, they won't be apart of my future" I explained, allowing a tear to fall down my face.
"Just because there not hear in human form, doesn't mean they can't be apart of your future. He was your boyfriend and she was you best friend, they will always be apart of you" he said, wiping the tear of my face.
"There's something I've gotta do" I said.
"What? Where are you going?" He shouted after me.
"I will be back soon, I promise" I shouted back.
I practically ran home, grabbed my guitar and sprinted to the grave yard.
The new soil layering and covering the lifeless bodies of the two most important people to me was fresh.
I sat in between their graves and started strumming some keys on my guitar.
"I wrote this song a few months ago, before the accident. And I was planning to share it with you on my birthday, but now your gone, I need to show you it" I said.

AUTHORS NOTE
BTW GUYS I HAVE ACTUALLY WRITTEN THIS SONG! SO PLEASE TELL ME WHAT YOU THINK

"There where three words i was dying to say to you,
It burns in my heart like a fire that ain't going out.
There was three words I'm dying to tell you,
I want you to know there all true.
Now I have to let you go
I just wanna say I'll always love you
You'll forever be a part of me
And even though your gone now
I can feel your presence near
For you aren't only my soul mates
Your my saviours

And although your no longer with us,
Doesn't mean I will forget
All the memories and laughs we shared
You'll always be in my heart and forever in my head.

I wanna say I'll always love you
You'll forever be a part of me
But this is goodbye
My hands are shaking
My heart is breaking
And it pains me to say it
I'm sat on your grave singing your goodbye song

"Wow" I heard someone say from behind me.
I turned and saw Tom's older brother Jacko.
"Omg hi! I haven't seen you in years" I said, getting up and giving him a hug.
"My brother really did love you Tamara" he said to me.
"I know. And I really loved him" I replied.
"That song, was really good! Where did you learn to sing like that"? He asked me.
I started blushing from the compliment.
"I don't know, I guess being told I have to write a speech and read it I front of 100 people at my best friends and boyfriend funeral kinda made me realise, music is my only way to express myself" I said.
"Anyway, I should be going, I was just coming here to check on things for my mum" Jacko said.
"How is she"? I asked.
"Bad. Really bad. It's like she expects him to come barging through the door any minute, maybe you can come over some time this week? It will be nice for her to speak to another girl, even if you are like twenty years younger than her" he laughed.
"Of course. I'd love to" I agreed.
"Well I best be going, it was nice to see you Tamara" he said, walking away.
"Nice to see you two" I replied, fighting back the tears.
When Jacko was out of sight, that's when I broke down in tears.


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