The Razed City

Chapter 17: Kiko

I want Logan and Ave out of the hotel room. Actually, I don't, but Caleb and Eric need time to talk, so I send the older two off to dinner and take a nice, long bath, with the jacuzzi on and a book in my hands.

The Scarlet Letter. Technically I stole it from the Ainsworth library, but I'm pretty sure Caleb doesn't mind and he's the only Ainsworth who really matters.

By the time I finish the book- On a field, sable, the letter A, gules- I figure the boys must have hashed things out so I drain the bathtub and put on my pajamas. I also pull on the huge, fluffy robe and cream-colored slippers provided by the hotel. Then I wander into the other room.

"Should we order room service?" I ask. "They have pie." Eric loves pie. "And fish'n'chips, probably. And ice cream." Ice cream for me, obviously, and fish'n'chips for Caleb. "Maybe we should get salad or something too. Just so Logan doesn't kill us."

Neither of them say anything. They're sitting on opposite beds, ignoring each other, pretending to watch TV.

Okay, so maybe they haven't made up yet. That's absurd; I took a two hour bath. At least.

"Room service sounds good," Caleb says, glancing at Eric and quickly looking away. "Should I order?"

I put my hand on my hips. "Two hours."

"What?" Eric says.

"It's been over two hours since we got here, and you still aren't talking to each other."

"I am talking to him," Caleb protests. "But for some reason, he's pissed at me."

"For some reason??" Eric explodes. "You frikin' know why I'm mad at you, Ossey."

At least they're talking.

"NO I FRIKIN' DON'T!" Caleb shouts, standing up. "I HAVE NO IDEA WHY-"

Eric stands too, nose to nose with Caleb. "BECAUSE YOU DIDN'T TELL ME! YOU NEVER SAID ANYTHING ABOUT YOUR DAD-"

"OH, SO NOW YOU'RE COMPLAINING BECAUSE I'M NOT A CRYBABY?"

"NO! I'M COMPLAINING BECAUSE YOU LIED-"

"ABOUT WHAT??"

"BEST FRIENDS ARE SUPPOSED TO FIGHT FOR EACH OTHER. I WOULD HAVE HELPED-"

"I DON'T NEED YOUR HELP!"

"YOU CLEARLY DO!"

"SHUT UP!"

"WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL-"

"YOU CAN'T HELP ME," Caleb yells. "YOU CAN'T, BECAUSE NOBODY CAN, BECAUSE I'M A STUPID, USELESS COWARD. I'M PATHETIC, OKAY?"

Eric takes a step back. "Amigo-"

"Sorry." Caleb thunks onto the bed and holds his head in his hands. "I'm not brave, and I'm not strong. Sorry to disappoint."

"Amigo?" Eric slides onto the bed, next to Caleb. "I'm sorry."

"You were right."

"I shouldn't have yelled."

"I should've hit him."

"Why..." Eric hesitates. "Why didn't you?"

"I couldn't." Caleb's head is still in his hands. "I couldn't do it. All the training, with Sensei, all the practice with you lot- it just leaves me. Left me. Every time."

Eric looks at me, confused. It used to not make sense to me, why victims don't fight against their abusers. But now I sort of get it. We didn't beat up Sir until he went too far, broke Caleb's arm. We didn't leave Baahir until Compass tried to split us up. Maybe no one runs away until the stakes are high enough, until the inside nightmare is worse than an unknown future. And maybe our stakes are each other.