$hh

No. 40 ♡

Pierre

"You're going to ignore me for forever?" I asked. She stared at the television still ignoring me.

I looked at her swollen face and I felt bad. Then I looked down at her potruding belly. I could've risked my child's life.

"Hampton," I reached out to touch her and she instantly flinched. I didn't want her to be afraid of me.

"Just tell me how long it will take for your papers to get finalized," she said.

"Six months," I said. "I don't want you here. Around me at all," she said standing up.

She walked to the door opening it. "I'm not going anywhere, Hampton," I said.

She closed the door back.

"I'm sorry for the things I've done and yes I'm a sorry person. I fuck up everything and I'm sorry that you are in this with me. I wouldn't want to be with me either. I was a mistake to this world and I always will be. But one thing is that I love you. I love you for you. I couldn't leave if I wanted to cause I wouldn't know how to raise Denzel on my own and I'm willing to learn with you. He count as yours now, baby. Me laying my hands on you was a fuck up. A real big fuck up. And I don't expect you to fall into my arms so quickly, but I want you to forgive me," I told her.

I was being honest with her. I wouldn't lie to her anymore. I promise myself that. I'm going to stay loyal to her.

"P-Pierre. I-I-"

"Daddy, I'm hungry," Denzel came walking cutting her off.

"Dinner will be ready in a minute, Denzel," Hampton said. He nodded his head, running back onto the room.

I told him to stop running. With him running can speed up his heart making it burst.

"You don't have to forgive me at this moment, but please forgive me in the near future," I said kissing her forehead.

She nodded her head. "I love you," she whispered.

"Love you too, love," I said. I opened the front door walking out. I needed time to myself--to think.

I drove to the tallest building I managed to find. I took the stairs to my way to the top and the cool wind quickly took me into its wrath.

I rolled me a blunt. I haven't had weed in a long ass time. It's not something that I smoke on a regular basis.

I put it between my lips lighting it. I inhaled deeply and blew out smoothly.

I cleared my mind letting my thoughts take over.

"Pierre, baby its okay," Alma tried soothing me. The tears splashed down my face.

"Padre y Madre, Alma!" I cried. She sat down next to me.

"Your mother and father are going to be okay, Pierre," she rocked me. I looked over at my uncle.

His face was emotionless. "The boys at school tease me," I told Alma.

"You el hombre the fuck up!" My uncle yelled. I looked up at him.

"Be a man, Pierre," he said.

"I don't know how!" I cried even more. "Look at me, boy," he said.

I turned toward him. "Being a man is within, nephew. It's in you," he said pointing to my chest.

I embraced him in a hug. "I miss me Padre," I said.

"I miss him too,"

I wiped the tears that rested in the corners of my eyes. I didn't expect to cry.

I have no family really. There's nobody here for me. I took another drag of the blunt.

I wondered back to my mother. She was a very beautiful person and I needed her.

She had beautiful, brown flawless skin. The skin of Hershey. Her hair was like wool--so soft.

I loved that woman so much. I wiped my face sniffling. I took a couple of more hits until I was fully high.

Probably even contemplating suicide at this moment. Then you realize it's not for you. Not for me.

You have a bigger much impact on people than you think. They love you unconditionally and you feel the same.

I thought back on Alma. When my mother's wasn't around she was there. There for me whenever I needed her.

It's hard for me to believe she would do something like that. Would Hampton lie to me? Why would Alma come after me?

"Fuck," I sighed. I rubbed my eyes. The weed was making me sleepy.

How was I going to explain to Denzel about Kiara? Shit, if I tell him Hampton killed her he is going to hate her. Hate me--for letting it happen.

Hampton basically killed all the people I have, but I love her. It's probably not right, but I do. Nothing can change my mind. I know for sure I love her--in love with her.

I heard a gun cock and I just sat still.

"Hands behind your head!" A man yelled. I slowly put my hands behind my head until he yanked me down to the ground.

He pulled my arms behind my back and started to place handcuffs on me.

"Pierre Santiago you're under arrest on multiple charges from drug trafficking to murder. Anything you say or do will be used against you in the court of law. You have the right to an attorney..."

He told me my rights. All I could think about was my family. Denzel, my unborn child, and Hampton.

I didn't even resist the arrest. There was nothing I could do. Hampton was going to have to hold it down.

Wish I would've cherished them more. Now it's too late.