Part One

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      I reached my destination, the church, fear welling up in me like a volcano ready to explode and destroy anything in its path. That's exactly what fear is- pure destruction coursing through innocent veins. I parked the car in the middle of an empty lot across the street from where I was heading. The front windshield facing the main entrance of the church, my feet refused to move, my arms failed to open the door, and I was paralyzed with destructive fear that wouldn't let me leave the safety of my mother's borrowed car. After several minutes, I finally gathered enough courage and breathed in enough air to proceed. I opened the car door, pushed it open, and stepped onto the faded asphalt. As I looked down at my black shoes, closely matching the tires of the car, I noticed my horrendous parking job and couldn't help but wonder if my driving had been just as bad. I focused back to what was ahead of me and firmly closed the door. I clicked the automatic lock button on my keys, and began my walk to the main entrance of the church. Carefully crossing the street, avoiding the few cars that passed in the early morning, I made my way into the main parking lot. Step by step, I finally reached the large set of stairs separating me from the doors. I took them slowly, one at a time, yet through my best efforts to delay my arrival, I was standing in front of two iron double doors before I knew it. I braced myself, squeezing my shaking fists into tight balls and locking my knees. Then I loosened up, raised my arm, turned the iron knob, and pushed the door open.

     As I stepped into the church, cold air hugging me, I was greeted by three older women who I didn't recognize, all dressed in black with tight expressions painted on their faces. I didn't bother trying to muster a smile, but rather kept my head straight, and forced my feet to move left. I walked down a long, empty hallway, soon coming to an open door. I stepped through it, and continued walking, this time up a long flight of stairs. I stopped before I reached another door, the one that separated me from the source of my dread, and paused. I took a deep breath, took much needed oxygen into my lungs, and opened the door. I walked into a room filled with more black outfits and pinched faces. My eyes quickly recognized two familiar faces: my sisters, both married now. I made my way to them, taking the long way around the pews as to avoid the front of the room. I smiled a pathetic half smile in their direction, and they both did the same to me. I sat down in the space between them, quietly enjoying their comfort. We sat there in silence, watching more and more people crowd into the room as 9:00 am ticked closer. When the hour finally arrived, and most of the seats were filled, a man in a stiff suit stepped up onto the raised section of floor at the front of the room. As he stepped behind the podium, he spoke. 

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