Loki X Reader One-Shots

All's Well That Ends Well

Ooof, hello. Yeah, this is not a regular chapter. This is just me, the writer, yapping for 1k words.

It's been a while, hasn't it? A long while, surely. I posted my last story sometime in 2023. It is the only chapter where I forgot to mention the month it was published, but I am quite sure it was September.

September 2023. And, if you go back, you shall find out that my first story here was published in December 2018. Good gracious, I was fifteen.

Anyway, I am now, as you can imagine, no longer fifteen. I am actually twenty-three. Not sure if the knee pain is normal, probably not.

I have written a ton of stories here in these years. Some of them I cherish even today; I think Forever Falls Apart is one of my favourites, despite all the awkward phrasing and weird vocabulary I can find in it now that I have evolved as a writer. And I fucking love Ungulate Demon despite its ridiculous premise. And then there's All That You Can't Leave Behind, in which I experimented with the narration, especially in the second part. And I Can't Imagine A World With You Gone holds a special place in my heart.

There are also stories that have many faults, but I still love, like It's A Hard Life. Sure, it has some plotlines that are unrealistic because I was a teenager when I wrote it, but overall, it's kind of dope.

Then there are stories that I have edited into oblivion, like Nothing But A Monster and Never Stop Fighting. I am not sure how I feel about these ones, to be honest. On one hand, they're kind of corny; on the other hand, they are the first stories that I ever published in this collection, and they mean something to me.

Then there's this one story that was a request, actually, which I wrote when I was like, sixteen or something, which I deleted not only from this collection but from my .docx file too. We are NOT talking about it. I hate it with a burning passion.

Anyway. I want to address a few things here.

1. Why did you stop posting fanfiction?
Honestly? I just stopped writing it. I still enjoy fandom stuff, and I have a pretty much active Instagram fan account (@hiddlestoned_t, come say hi) where I yap about Tom Hiddleston-related stuff, but I no longer find writing fanfiction rewarding. I don't really read much fanfiction either, and when I do, it's mostly Jayvik in AO3 these days. I still write in general, don't get me wrong. I have an ongoing original work that's already over 200k words, and it's still not finished.
But also, I suppose, the fact that I am a half-Palestinian in diaspora and October 2023 was, well, October 2023, and you know what's followed... I really don't want to talk about the genocide here, but I think it's important to address it, because I think it's a huge reason why I lost motivation. And probably got depression, too, but that's a different conversation

2. Wait. You started posting when you were fifteen... What's up with all the SA trauma addressed in those stories? Girl, are you okay?
So, great question. No clue. I have never been SAd in my life, and I am not sure why it keeps popping up in the stories I write. I guess it's an empathy thing. It has started happening with other things too, as I grow older and become more and more aware of the different kinds of suffering in the world. SA, war, genocide, physical abuse, it's all a sort of suffering that I cannot relate to. And, you know, sometimes I feel this stupid sense of guilt whenever I think about it. I cannot even grasp it, and it just feels wrong that there are kinds of unimaginable pain in the world, to be suffered by other people. And sometimes I just feel like it would be better if I could spare everyone, if I could just touch their hand and take all this pain from them and into myself, if all this pain could just destroy me and only me, and the world could be a better place. It might sound kind of self-centred, or like I want to be a saviour. It's not like that. It's just... I don't want to talk about The Files here (you know the ones), but just yesterday I broke down crying thinking about them. And I've cried thinking about people in Palestine, in Congo, in Sudan... Thinking of people being murdered by ICE simply for being immigrants or even just defending immigrants. Why? Why is all this happening? Why are some people so cruel? I don't understand.

3. Will you ever post fanfiction again?
Probably not, and if I do, it will probably be on AO3. I am labelling this work as completed and keeping it up for everyone who finds value in these stories. I know there are people who've found solace in my stories -- I know because they've told me.

Anyway, that's all I wanted to talk about, I guess. To be honest, I'm not in a great place emotionally, but that's why I'm starting therapy.

With Love,
Eva/Anthea ♥