8/20/2015
---Memories of the Past---
I dunno where to start... So I decided to make a "TL;DR" (whatever that meant... I just got it from Lilypichu and Blakinola )
Anyways... Here goes my past life before I became an otaku, parkour-doer, gamer, and more.
So back then, I was this kid who would sit all-day watching cartoons. I don't have a clear memory of having outdoor moments, but my mom would just remind me of those days where I had "playmates". Well, I also remember one of my childhood days where I looked humiliating, but why would I recall them? Is it even worth learning something from that past?
I remember that one time where I got completely humiliated... That even the so-called "teacher" of the class also started laughing... A part of it was due to my idiotic decision... A whole part of it was because of my "classmate" who gave me that humiliating answer for me to... answer... whatever...
It all started when I was at elementary... Our subject was Science, and then a topic came to be, that topic caused me to be humilated. It was this solid-liquid-gas thingy... *starts to rage*... Just remembering it makes me wanna... Go and kill everyone who, instead of correcting my mistake, just simply laughed at me and even spread that humiliating answer of mine to the whole f.cking school... -_-|||...
Around that time, I cried inside... I laughed awkwardly outside... That day... Tore my so-called "good kid" apart... I started plotting revenge... And that plot of revenge was to blow up the whole school... Before that, I planned to kill them all...
But all of this was partly my fault... For believing that asshole...
Ever since then... I did had those so-called friends...
I knew they were only there to use me and humiliate me anywhere, anytime... Behind their smiles flashed their toxic attitudes... Ready to say whatever the f.ck they want...
I learned to defend myself at a very young age without even knowing karate, taekwando, arnis or anything involving self defense... This triggered my sadistic side... We all know what a sadist looks like right? I haven't killed anyone yet... But I do enjoy hearing their scream of pain, carefully examining my helpless opponent... Begging for mercy... If they want too... *flashes a sadistic smile*
Regarding this side...
I took down someone older than me, to be fair, I was around 8 years old when I kicked his ass to the ground... It felt so~~~ good, having my first fight, I even left him a scar on his forehead. I knew he was giving me a chance to strike... But he made his biggest mistake. No one, not even the principle, saw my sadistic side.
My second revenge was when I was grade six. It was just a whole week of practice for graduation. I was on my way home for lunch, when this asshole started teasing me, I held my anger 'cause even though I won't stand a chance against him (because the asshole was with a group of girls) I'd do anything just to get my revenge.
I returned to school with anger written all over my face. I threw my bag away like garbage and charged at him on where he was seating and started throwing punches at him with full force. He was screaming for help, facing me backwards, when I flipped him over to make him face me and gave him a cold glare. It really felt good 'cause this asshole was the one responsible from making me the talk of the town and a laughing stock.
It felt great to get revenge, even the girls who were with him started to run to the principle office. (By the way, they also started to tease me, but why harm a girl, when I can harm the asshole who started all of this, right?)
After giving him a pack full of punches and a souvenir of cold glare, I ran to our classroom, and there I showed my true color. I almost injured my fist for punching the wall. I didn't even care if I was breaking school property. Hah! This is what you f.ckers get for teasing my all day and almost every single day! If you all can just turn back time and fix your mistakes, then all of that wouldn't have happened! There's no point in asking forgiveness 'cause this guy right here! This guy ain't giving you all a chance to fix that darn mistake you all made 8 years ago!
Highschool...
Ah... This time of my academic year... I raged here alot of times... Same things happen all over again. Teasing... Plotting of revenge... Starting fights... Everything... It was a cycle that completed my academic years... Fighting...
Third year came when I defended a girl who is being bothered by this tall fat ass guy. Pushing him away, I felt adrenaline. My visions turned black, my hearing senses increased. He punched me, but I felt nothing, I even thought I was the one who was fast, and the whole world was slow. (No, I'm not taking drugs, I don't know how or why but this came to me naturally) I returned his punched, by pushing him again, and punching his right arm. After that, he just walked away. My classmate came to me and asked if I was okay. I nodded in response. He then told me if I felt his punch, and I said no. This life of mine full of teasing piece of sh.ts continued until I graduated high school. Well, at least I made a few friends. They were my first true friends. I also started making online friends, and it turned out slightly well. From Reality, to Facebook, Wattpad and Instagram.
And now, here I am, still a bit hopeless at something.
This has been, your hopeless 16 year old silver division 2 male gamer. Anime lover. Parkour-Newbei. And a soon to be freshman of a new academic level called college.
So, before I end this... I'm sorry if you find some parts of my life annoying... And if I said something that made you feel offended, feel free to report and block me... I deserve it anyways. Damn... I'm such a pessimist :'/...
Though in the end, I learned stuff like... Self-Defense... That I should've been careful on making my decision... That I should've just contained myself in a world where I can enjoy my childhood life in a different way... That I wished I just made up a different answer and move on with that tiny mistake... I just wished that, someone would've been there to defend me... Instead of laughing at me and making fun of me everyday I go to school... Well, with all that said, I got that weight off my chest... But still... Those memories left a very deep scar inside me that would've caused me to take my own life and erase my existence for eternity even if it meant committing a sin...
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Journal Of The Distorted; The Lost Path
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