My Calling

Twenty Eight - Born Again

Chapter Twenty Eight

I wasn't going to update tonight but reading your comments on the last chapter I just asdfghjkl you guys are too sweet and I couldn't help but finish the chapter and put it up. 

I just want you to know I read appreciate every single comment you guys send to me. It really helps with motivation. Stay beautiful bitchezzz xoxoxo

This chapter is dedicated to bashful_binds for giving me a little nudge in the right direction. Your comment made all the difference, thank you so much. xxx

I get both songs done. I get them written and composed, then recorded within the week.

I was doing well that night in Huntington. I got so many lyrics down in that time. I would’ve kept going had Jennel not called me, frantically wanting to know where I’d disappeared too. Going back to the concert was an awkward task, especially when all the attention was on me and where I’d vanished too. I mumbled some unintelligible things and Drew has a good sense of noticing things so he changed the subject. I thanked him silently. It was a tense night for me. I had so many lyrics wanting to burst free and onto paper. My hand was itching. It was as if I’d released a gauge of forbidden things that had a taste of freedom and now were fighting for the whole thing. Carly stayed by Wes the whole night and that really pissed me off but I didn’t let it show. I mean, I thought he said they weren’t a thing? I bit my tongue and let Jennel catch up with the boys though. In my head, I figured out how I wanted my songs to sound. In reality, I sat in the corner and pretended as if I was on an important Twitter catch up. Or something unconvincing like that.

Jennel left a few days later. We were both sad but she promised she’d come back and see me. She wished me well on Wes and I’s relationship before she left. She said that everything happens for a reason and I think, in a way, her words spoke some sort of truth.

By having written everything down, I feel freer. Like, it cleared my thoughts and now I’m somehow able to see things clearly. It was as if someone had washed through my head. It was as if I’d given myself a fresh start. All along, I’ve been thinking Wes and I both needed a fresh start when in actual fact, it’s just me who needs a fresh start. I’m holding myself back, I’m holding on to my mistakes so I needed to give myself a fresh start. And through the album, I think I’ve done just that.

This week, composing, recording and writing, I’ve finally figured out everything I need to. I’ve figured out what I want and where I’m going and even though I’m still unsure about a few things, I think it’s time I take back my life. I think it’s time I take control.

-                             -                    -                         -                       -                       -                          -

I’m sitting in a meeting with my team as well as a few other people and I have my debut album sitting in front of me. All around me, people are talking but the only thing I acknowledge is the album in front of me. I’ve come so far and to see it in front of me, brings tears to my eyes. My album drops tomorrow so in celebration, someone pops a bottle of champagne. Eddie offers me a class but I shake my head, drinking is something I don’t want to be a part of who I am. The last time I drank, I screwed up everything and I’m not willing to let myself get there again. Even if it is only one measly glass.

Everyone congratulates me on an album success and a smile finds its way to my face. It’s been a long journey but I’ve finally made it. Someone near me starts to quieten the crowd in our meeting room. It’s Eddie, he wants to make a speech. He clears his throat. “Hello everyone. As you know, I’m Asha’s manager and I just want to take this time to say that I’ve loved working with Asha. She’s been one of the easiest people to work with and I’m so proud of her.” He looks at me. “You’re a beautiful person Asha and I can’t wait to continue our friendship. I don’t think of it as a business arrangement, I think of it as a friendship.”