The Mortician's Daughter- I Said I Loved You (Part One of a multi-part story)

TWO

                                                                                         TWO

One month, 18 cities, 20 shows, thousands of miles, and many sleepless nights later and we are still out on tour. The miles seem to go by faster than the time. Everyday, I think of her more and more. She doesn't text me much anymore. I think she is trying to give me the 'Silent Treatment'. At least I hope, maybe she is mad at me. She cant hate me because she writes back, of course they are short responses. Maybe she is starting to hate me. But what am I supposed to do? I am doing all I can.

I lay staring at the ceiling in an empty hotel room, alone. It is getting close to two o'clock at night, and I haven't yet fallen asleep. Every time I try to sleep she wakes me up. Not by a text, not by a call, just by thinking of her. When, well if, I fall asleep she is in my dream, more like my nightmare. So I wake up to end it, to end the thought that she may leave me one day. And I could have changed something to keep her here. And yet days go by, and I still don't go to her. I want to. I want to run to her and never leave her again, but I wouldn't only be letting the guys down but I'd also be letting down, our manager, our label, and all the thousands of people that would come out to the shows. Also, I'd be letting myself down, because this is what I want in life, and giving it up would break me.

I couldn't take my thoughts anymore. I turn on the lights, and turn on my phone to check my messages, nothing, no surprise. I slip my phone in my pocket, no I haven't changed from my day clothes, and I leave to go outside. I walk down the long hall way, quietly so I don't wake up the others in the hotel. The only one that is around is the lady at the help desk. I walk right by. I don't look up, because I don't want to cause conversation. I walk out to the bench outside the hotel. I look around at the dark city. The only people that are up, are the late night truck drivers, and me.

After I sit on the bench for about ten minutes, I decide to walk around a little bit. I walk down the side walk, down past the vacant 24/hour grocery store, past the car lot, to the bridge that goes over the highway. The people traveling down the highway were made up of 60% trucks and 40% cars and busses. I sit down, with my feet dangling over the edge of the bridge. I rest my arms on the rails, that keep me from falling. I sit there, staring at the passing traffic, it was peaceful. For the first time in a month I didn't think of Nicole and I's relationship. It was nice. That is until a police officer stopped.

"Hey, son." He said walking up to me.

"Hey." I said.

"What you doing here?" he asked.

"Just watching traffic." I said.

"Don't you have a place to stay?" he asked.

"Yeah, I do." I said.

"Why aren't you there?" He asked.

"Because I couldn't sleep, so I thought maybe clearing my mind would help." I said.

"Well you are kind of worrying me sitting that close to the edge like that." He said.

"Why, you think I'm gonna jump off?" I asked.

"Were you?" he asked.

"No. I'm just watching the traffic." I said.

"Well, why can't you sleep, is there something bothering you?" he said

"Not really." I said.

"Are you sure?" he asked.

"Yes." I said.

"So are you just not tired?" he asked.

"Officer, I am trying to be nice, but I don't know how many times I have to tell you, I am fine. I just couldn't sleep." I said.