Dysthymia ; h.s

one

Today is Saturday. I walked straight into my room and put the book into the shelf. I laid on my bed and sighed as I heard a knock on the door.

"It's open !!" I sternly shouted. The door creaked open and I saw my mum. She crossed her arms and leaned against the door frame.

"Do you want to eat something?" She asked.

"No, I am still full. Thank you." I smiled at her and she just nodded in response. I see the sympathy in her eyes as she left my room. I hate it. I hate it when people gives me sympathetic looks. There's no point on pitying me, really. They always think that I will harm myself , so they're always behind my back.

I put on my jacket as i stood up. I left my room and went backyard to get some fresh air. I have an anxiety attack so I have to do the grounding.

Grounding helps you when you feel like you have lost all control of your surroundings. I looked around and find 5 things to see. The first thing I saw was a red ball which is my sister's property. Then the sunflowers and some empty shells of snails. I saw a bug as I looked into the ground and it's so precious. I picked it up and it quickly flew away. I followed it's direction and it headed into the corner of our yard. I am about to pick it up once again until I broke the wooden fence. I looked at it and there's a forest behind it. I removed some other piece of the wooden fence so I will be able to go through it and once I am done, I went into the hole that I made. The air was humid and it was so cold out there. I walked into the forest to observe and continue my grounding. I am done with the first step, i found 5 things to see.

Now, I have to find 4 things to touch. I immediately touched the ground, the trees, plants until I am officially in the Forest. Next step is to find 3 things to hear. I sat against the tree as I listen to the chirping of the birds, and some strange sounds, which is onomatopoeia. Now I have to find 2 things to smell. I smelled the coconut scent of my hair and the aroma of my favourite perfume.

The last thing that I need to do is find 1 thing to taste. I scanned the forest for some fruits, but i found none. I walked again searching for food but I still found none. I am so hungry. I sat in annoyance and my tummy made a really loud noise indicating that I am starving for food. I still don't want to go home. I have to continue the grounding that I am doing. If I proceed to find something to eat in this forest, I might get lost.

In this time, I only have two options; which is to go home, or get lost in this forest.

As I stood up, rain drops fell from the sky so I immediately ran out of the forest, and into the hole in the fence, and into our house. I am partially wet because of that rain. Few minutes passed, the rain is still pouring, creating a very loud noise which is annoying.

I put on my earphones and listened to some Hans Zimmer pandora because I have a homework to do. I loved listening to Hans Zimmer Pandoras because it has no distracting lyrics that will get you out of focus on what you're doing, specially when you're doing your homeworks.

I hate learning statistics and probabilities. This is so annoying specially the chevysheb's theorem. I easily understood the central tendency which is composed by the mean, median and the mode, noting that it has so many formulas like for the ungrouped, grouped and weighted Data.

I also understood the plotting of the graphs, and the table headers that I can't even memorize and gives some sort of headaches. But this chevysheb's theorem was the worst. I don't understand the regular math so I am not great when it comes to getting the square roots. I hate this theorem. The only thing that I am fond of learning this shit is that the terminologies that the scientists used. They are so funny like the Chevysheb's theorem, Kurtosis and Leptokurtic.

"Seven point twenty five" I sighed as I closed my notebook. I put it in my bag and closed my eyes.

When I am almost asleep, I heard a thud coming from the kitchen who shook me out of nowhere.

I grabbed my baseball bat that I got when I am on sixth grade. I really love this baseball bat because my dad gave this to me before the incident.

A loud bang again came from the kitchen as I am walking slowly towards to it. I am so nervous. I never encountered this scene in my life, what if I caught a thief and shoot me to death? Or a murderer and stab me 69 times with a knife? Or a ghost and scare the hell out of me?

I feel the goosebumps on my skin and I am shaking. The proximity of the footsteps was very near, my heart is pounding loudly. Tears escaped from my eyes, but I found the courage to face the undefined creature.

I took a deep breath and swallowed the lump on my throat as I entered the kitchen with whole independence.

I dropped my jaw and the baseball bat on the floor, cannot believe with what I just saw. The broken pieces of the glasses of water was scattered everywhere, the kitchen counter was messed up.

A cat unmannerly went straight into my way, being sassy. It is so cute so I petted it. I laughed at myself as I hugged the cat because of the unusual nervousness that I felt for the last few minutes.

"You scared me to death!" I said. I know the cat couldn't understand what am I saying but it is my mannerism, talking to an animal.

I put the cat into my bed and I quickly ran into the kitchen again to pick up the broken pieces of the glass and clean the mess so I can finally go to sleep.

As soon as I am finished cleaning up the whole kitchen. I get a milk and put it on a tray and i immediately went back into my room, enthusiastically gave the milk to the cat. It was 11:00 pm already and I normally sleep at 10 so I will have eight hours of sleep.

Not caring about the time, I observed the cat as it drinks the milk, and enjoying it. Maybe it's hungry. After it drank all of the milk, I flipped the cat over to see it's gender. He's a male.

I scanned and adored every details of the cat, I adored how much he looked fluffy because of his white color and I examined his head. A shining pendant caught my attention and I looked at it.

I removed it from his neck and on it, there are three initials.

"H.E.S"