Let me be your hopeless Dream..

Chapter 2

The next Day when Brian awoke he felt. Like shit. Yes, he did and that was still fairly underestimated. His head hurt and his stomach was aching and that damn voices in his mind just wouldn't shut up. He felt simply miserable.

He turned over in his bed and found, as expected, nothing. Just nothing. No living soul and no evidence that somebody had ever been there. Nothing. He hated it, he hated the whole damn world and mostly Roger. Why was he like this? Why was he messing with him? Brian was sure that he did not deserve this. Well, maybe he did for some reason he didn't know, maybe living in a constant heartache was his fate because it hadn't been just one night or just yesterday, this had happened so many times over the last 7 months that Brian had lost the count of just how many times Roger had used him already. It were enough indeed. So when all he wanted was a bit peace of mind, of course, all the memories of the previous night had flood his mind and it really didn't make anything better. Brian just wanted someone who'd do him good. No way though, of course it had to be Roger Taylor, the one who'd play his games with anyone, even his friend, and Brian came to the conclusion that it had to stop. It all had to stop.

The guitarist sat up in his bed, little black dots appearing on his vision and a quick glance at his clock told him that he was pretty late and Freddie was most definitely about to rip his head off. So in fact this Day couldn't be worse. Still, all he really cared about was why Roger couldn't stay?

Brian stumbled into the bathroom, taking a shower and brushing his teeth, sparing himself the look in the mirror. There was no way he was putting up with this agony as well.

There was no breakfast or tea, Brian just ran off into the studio as fast as he could. He barely caught a glimpse of his clothes that were still scattered around the floor 'cause neither him nor Roger had bothered to put them away, well he had been asleep but whatsoever. Those clothes remembered him of things he wished he couldn't remember, ever again, so he would definitely get around to put them away and wash them, some day. Maybe.

When he burst into the studio there was Freddie walking up and down the room and John sitting on the couch near to the door in a half-asleep state. No Roger though.

"Hey!" Brian mumbled out and immediately felt the urge to apologize when Freddie looked at him even though he didn't even looked the least bit upset, well he shouldn't have been since Brian was still punctual. Roger was definitely getting the blow though.

"Are you okay?" Freddie asked concerned and stopped his up and down pacing. "Yes, just haven't slept well!" Brian answered and sat down next to John what obviously startled him but he seemed too tired to care about it.

"Where's Roger?" Brian asked as if it would really bother him, and in fact it did too much for his liking and the only answer he really wanted to hear was an 'He's sick' or 'He's staying at home!" , anything that involved Roger being anywhere but in this studio. The same counted for his mind, a wish that wouldn't come true though and Brian knew that very well 'cause in the last months there were two things his mind was constantly roaming about and it was a) Roger or b) writing songs (and maybe option c) food but it seemed somewhat irrelevant).

The studio door sprang open, hitting the back of the wall forcefully.

"So Glad you grace us with your presence!" Freddie chanted sarcastically when an, obviously, dishevelled Roger walked through the door. He looked. Well, messed up. His hair was a mess and his clothes were all wrinkled and his sleep-deprived eyes were hidden under dark sunglasses. Roger felt shitty and he most definitely looked like it.

Roger hadn't got much sleep that night. The fact that he only got home around 5 in the morning was one thing, but that he actually couldn't even sleep after he was snuggled up in his bed with his eyes so heavy that every normal human being would've drifted off within 2 seconds was just odd. The drummer couldn't seem to tear his thoughts away from the things that had happened and the things that had happened many months before. He felt guilty, something that had never really occurred before but now he felt more guilty than ever before and it was his own fault 'cause he was playing with people's emotions. Well done Taylor!