Let me be your hopeless Dream..

Chapter 5

7 Days.

7 seven whole Days without a word or any other sign that Brian was alive. No answered phone calls and he didn't open up his door when Freddie or John or both decided to look after him, plus trying to reach out to him was even harder now, since Brian had removed his spare key and it wasn't to be found. He didn't show up in the studio either which put the work on their album on hold. John and Freddie were worried sick. Brian not showing up was one thing but Brian not saying why he was gone was terrifying since Brian was a person who would always call and tell you why he was abscene, so this whole thing was simply odd.

You might think that one week isn't that much of an abscene but in Freddie and John's head there were scenes playing out which all involved horrible things happening to Brian. They tried to calm themselves with the thought that Brian could simply be sick but then again he would've called. So while Freddie and John drove themselves crazy and while Brian seemed to have simply disappeared, Roger wasn't concerned at all. The drummer seemed to be totally fine and the fact that Brian was like, simply gone, didn't really bother him, at least he acted like it.

Neither Freddie nor John knew what had happened but they were both convinced that it had to do with that blond trouble-maker, everything seemed to revolve around him after all.

5:30 a.m

Brian groaned, there was no need in trying to sleep anymore. The last Days had been a cycle of him getting up around 2 in the morning just to be tired and worn out the whole day and fall asleep around 9. His sleeping habits turned out to be incredibly unhealthy. Waking up at a time he should definitely be still asleep and falling asleep from exhaustion at a time that everybody was still awake, made him feel more like a ghost than an actual human being.

Brian felt unhealthy. The last week had been a torture for his mind and body. He had isolated himself completely 'cause he didn't feel strong enough to put up with his friends and mostly Roger, he just couldn't look him in the eye. Brian had heard his phone ringing and of course he had heard the minutes and minutes that Freddie and John had practically banged against his door just for him to come out but he chose to ignore it because he wasn't strong enough. The lack of food and drink had done the rest. He was oddly pale and looked thinner, even more than he already did, his lips were dry and split and his head was aching constantly. Brian eventually realised that living of 2 cups of tea and a little food when he felt like it wasn't enough to keep himself alive, not at all but he couldn't seem to get himself out of bed. He felt like there was a spell on him that had chained him to his bed forever, no matter what he tried, it was never enough to lure himself out of his self-pity and heartache.

Now he wasn't just hurting mentally but also physically, everything seemed to get worse with each passing minute. His mind was constantly torn between forgiving and forgetting. Brian felt like Roger had stolen his last straw. He should've been relieved shouldn't he? After all he wasn't as worthless as he thought he was and still it wasn't enough. Roger had apologised and somewhere deep inside him, Brian had been touched by his words, but what would it help him? Now that he had caught those feelings for Roger, there was no going back anymore and a simple apology wasn't going to mend him. The guitarist dared himself not to think about it anymore, it was a hopeless Dream and he knew that but he also knew that he would never want anybody but Roger. He didn't even know why he wanted only him, he couldn't even name 10 reasons why it was Roger, all he really knew was that he was his special someone and he wanted to be his. Brian wondered why people were always drawn towards the worst influence. For some reason we all seem to choose the persons that hurt us the most 'cause apparently we will love them with every broken piece of our souls. Brian did and he swore that he always would, even if being in love with your band mate and best friend was a very dumb thing to do.