Starting Over Anderson || ✔

Twenty-nine: Stay

Ever since I was a little kid, I liked to save the best for the last. I guess the habit stuck.

It's especially prominent when I'm eating, how I'd finish off the least favorable part of my meal, and leaving usually, the meat, for the finale.

That's how it feels like, watching Chris exchanging a curt nod with Noah before finally stepping foot into my ward.

The best for the last.

"Hey," I greet him.

He sits on the chair previously occupied by Noah. "Hey, how are you feeling?"

"Bearable," I smile a little. He doesn't return it.

I notice the deep purple bruises under his eyes, looking like he hasn't slept for days. Even Aaron doesn't look so ghastly. Subconsciously, my good right hand reaches for his face, caressing it gently, feeling exceedingly worried for his health. He covers his hand over mine - my heart thuds so loudly in my chest that I think even Aaron can hear it from outside - and intertwines our fingers. I don't know for sure, but I think my cheeks are colored crimson.

When it seems like my poor heart is already beating at its limit, Chris pulls me in for a hug. One of those I-miss-you-so-much-and-I-don't-want-to-ever-let-you-go kind of hug.

"I thought that I was going to lose you forever," he whispers mid-hug. "We hadn't even exactly been on good terms when you disappeared with Kingsley. I was so, so afraid -" he stops, a stray tear rolling down his cheek. I wipe it away, feeling something surge in my stomach.

"I'm fine now, aren't I?" I say.

He turns away, staring at the wall behind me. "There's something I need to tell you."

I make a good guess. "About Oliver and the crash?"

He almost chokes on his saliva. "Wha -?"

"I overheard your conversation with Noah," I admit, blushing.

Chris's face twists into pain. And remorse. And guilt. "Are you mad at me?"

"At first, I was," I answer truthfully. "But then I came to my senses. Being mad at you wouldn't bring Isa and Brian back, so why bother? Besides, I've had other... revelations."

"Oh."

"You don't want to hear them?"

"Hear what?"

"My revelations."

"Oh."

I may not be the psychologist here, but even I can tell that something is eating up his thoughts. "I have a dagger under my pillow, ready for when I feel like joining Isa above." For the record, I really do have a dagger under my pillow, but it's more for defensive purposes. I mean, who knows when Link would randomly decide to give me a visit. I know a dagger is no match for his sniper guns, but it's still worth a shot.

"Really?"

"Chris."

"Hm?"

"What are you thinking about?"

He sighs and finally looks at me. "I'm trying to figure out how much you heard."

"I heard everything." I stare back into his eyes meaningfully, telling him that I know, and I'm okay with it, because I feel the same. "I like you too, Chris. A lot. You were in my mind when I was falling to my death, so I think that counts as something."

"Really?" A huge grin breaks onto his face. He hugs me again, and I feel my face morphing into a wide smile of my own. The feeling of finding out that your long-term crush likes you back must be very overpowering.

"Really."

"So you wouldn't mind if I did this?"

I know what he's implying and I nod, closing my eyes. I'm seeing sunshine and rainbows behind my eye lids as I feel Chris's lips on mine. Soft and testing at first, and then slowly becoming rougher, needing, wanting. I kiss him back hungrily, like the world is on fire. Because my world is definitely on fire. The kiss is everything I've been waiting for - sweet, passionate, heated, aggressive - and it makes my stomach flip 360 degrees like I'm on a roller coaster. It's not my first kiss, but it's the best.

My fingers curl themselves around his sandy-colored hair, drawing him as close as possible. I can feel him smiling against my lips. When we break apart, gasping for air, Chris has migrated from the bedside chair to my bed. His hands don't let mine go, and he rests his head on my good shoulder, taking in ragged breaths. That was some epic shit.

"I've been wanting to do that since I saw you again at the church," he murmurs and then trails kisses up my neck to give me another peck. I catch his lips and we're kissing again, this time softer, slower. "I love you, Jenna. You may not love me, yet, but I can wait. I have all the time in the world," he adds when we stop for air.

I smile. "Okay."

Forehead against forehead, we lose ourselves in each others' eyes. I take the time to memorize him, to let his features imprint themselves on the back of my mind, in the little box next to Isa's. They're equally important now - Isa, Aaron, Keith and Chris. Four pillars of my life, all from different eras that I had lived - am still living - in, all bringing out different versions of me. They are what makes me me.

"Now that that's out of the way, there's something else I need to know." Chris kisses my cheek.

"What is it?" I ask, the place where he had kissed burning up.

"So, what are you going to do now that Kane is dead and everything is over?"

The question takes me off-guard. For the second time today, I don't know what to say.

"Will you be going back to Jacksonville, with Aaron?" He doesn't look at me anymore, dread lacing his voice like triple icing cake.

That is when I look at him, like really look. I look at his hand, intertwined with mine, his sculpted body, his jawline, his nose, his lips, lips that I had kissed. I remember the way his eyes crinkle when he smiles, the way he's so adorably awkward around me because he actually feels so strongly for me, and I'm suddenly clear of what I have to do. Tempted as I am to go back to Aaron, I realize it now that I have found Chris, I can't leave him. I need him, I want him.

"No." I couldn't have said it with any more resolve.

***

Author's note

Hey everyone! This is the last chapter of Starting Over Anderson, and I'm as proud as a PDA mum with her child elected as student president :') One more epilogue and the story will be complete.

Again, I thank all of you for giving my story a chance and motivating me to get this far. I love you all very much.

xoxo marmaladebreeze

p.s. vote/comment please? Thank you!